Life, the Universe, and Everything

Motivation

Remember last summer when I decided to try to exercise more? hmmm, me either. it was mostly about escaping, and I tried to fool myself into not hoping I'd lose some weight to. But it totally would have worked. You know, if it hadn't gotten cold as a witch's tit. Winter in Illinois sucks ass. So I ran for about a month. I haven't done it since.

The bad thing is I think about exercising and getting healthier all the time. Mostly while I'm eating cookies or cake (mmm... cake). But I'm too lazy and tired to do anything about it. I have about 20 extra pounds that I'd like to lose, but just can't be bothered to actually stop shoving food in my pie hole. Rob is the same way. He weighs himself all the time and is excited when his weight holds steady at any number lower than it was last week. But instead of trying to eat less, Rob attacks the problem in true male fashion. He goes overboard. And he spends lots of money.

His first try was many many years ago. We got an ab-roller at a garage sale. He couldn't even figure out how to use it right. And I think that the designers knew that if they made the thing collapsible, people would collapse it right up and put it in the closet never to be seen again. Instead, they made it large and bulky. it sits in the corner not quite out of the way. Mocking you, Or in our case, mocking Rob, for not using it. And mocking me for going along with the purchase even though I knew it was a bad idea. it had to go. I love Freecycle. People come and pick up your crap in no time.

Then we finally managed to collect all Rob's crap from various relatives houses where it collected dust, forgotten was stored for years before he settled down. And of course, there was a heavy bag (one of those hanging kicking bag things)in the pile of crap. There's a reason it's called a heavy bag. It's heavy. And big and bulky. Before we had kids, he actually hung it from the bottom of our deck and used it once or twice. After Ally was born, the hooks were re-purposed for a baby swing. But the thing lurked in the garage. He insisted that he'd use it. If only he had time. Ha. Never going to happen. The freecycle people came and picked it up in just a little over an hour.

At this point, we're still out very little money. Apparently, Rob decided that was the problem. If we spent MORE money, we'd get better equipment, right?

Fuck.

So he went shopping for a home gym. He'd worked out at Basic pretty often, and liked the weight machines at the gym there, but didn't think he had time or motivation to go to a gym alone. So a home gym would be the perfect solution. Never mind the fact that we'd have to put it in the (one car) garage. Or that he claimed never to have enough time to run and how the heck would he have enough time for a full workout. of course, he'd work out, if only he had the right materials to do it with. I put my foot down. There was no way I was going to buy a $300 weight system + weights + barbells.

We got it around Christmas. But the garage was cold. So we had to buy a heater for it. But the floor was still cold, so we had to buy some of those foam mat things so he could do push-ups and sit-ups out there. Even though we had a fully carpeted house. It would ruin his concentration if he had to come inside for that. And he had to have new exercise shoes so he could go running too. Of course he did. And don't forget about the mp3 player he had to have to take running with ihm.

Soon, it started to snow. Of course, we HAD to put at least one vehicle in the garage, so he rearranged so that we could. Not surprisingly, it became too much of an effort to pull the bench back out so that he could use it. So the thing sat there, halfway blocking the back door out the garage for god only knows how long, when one day he got the idea to take it to the ambulance bay with him. He always works out better with other people around. What a great idea! And I think he actually used it a little there. A lot of people did. And they didn't take care of it well. It eventually made it's way home. We wouldn't want people to tear up a gym system we have absolutely no use for, now would we? Finally I convinced him to give it up. We sold it for $75 including all the weights we bought. It physically hurt me to think about that money wasted.

But apparently Rob can't say the same, because while I was pregnant with Anya, he decided to apply for a police job. But they have to pass a physical test to be considered. You see where I'm going with this, don't you? Well, a home gym didn't work, so he thought it was a good idea to pay the outrageous signup fee at Gold's Gym without talking it over with me first. I'm still not thrilled about that one. Over $200 just to have the privilege of paying them a monthly fee! Oh, and did I mention there was a 2 year contract? Total price to date is around $1000. Yes, he still has the membership. He's probably only used it around 20 times in the last 2 years. We're canceling it this month. (He never even went often enough to be confident to pass the test, so he didn't even apply for the job)

I had to change my address the other day on my drivers license. They asked me about height and weight. I haven't weighed that much little since high school. i reluctantly updated it, but I still lied. I couldn't bring myself to face the real number. I need to get fit. I know that it's all about motivation. Not about the equipment you have (unlike Rob).

I'm not letting him spend any more money on exercise equipment. Especially if we can't work up the motivation. The money would be better off spent on something we can enjoy and will actually use. Like a Wii. Hey, wait. Wii has a exercise game - Wii Fit. I don't have the money to spend on it either. But maybe I can win one. Surely we could work out if it was a game...

Did ya notice?

I put a new photo album up. But because typepad doesn't have an optino for sorting in reverse order, it's way down there under all the older albums. I really wish they'd fix that. Anyway, I finally got Anya's 2 year pictures taken. I hate to say it, but they were 2 weeks late. And I completely skipped December. She's supposed to be on a every 2months (plus Christmas card pics) schedule and I'm blowing it. But we've been busy. And it's absolutley killing me that I'm going to have to label these pictures as April (when her birthday is) but they were actually taken in May. ugh.

Anyway.

I'll save you all the scrolling

2008-04

spooning

Rob climbs into bed after shutting the bathroom door so the window light doesn't shine on us as we try to fall asleep. It's early enough that neither one of is drop-dead tired yet. We lay close and have a random sleepy conversation. Rob pulls me close and I roll onto my side so he can wrap his arms around me. He reaches over me and lays his hand on my... cat.

"Is that Boris? Are you spooning with the cat?"

Is there something wrong with that?

Kirtsy

So the whole world is blogging about this outrageous lawsuit thing. And sk*rt is no longer sk*rt. But I love that they kept the same look and feel. They even kept the little * over the i in the logo. They took the high road and moved on. (And I definitely think the picked a great new name. I'm just glad it wasn't phlox! ugh.) And they kept their sense of humor about the whole thing. Did you see the ! in the alt text? Go on, hover over the image. heh

So, anyway, make sure you take your skirt off, and kirtsy while you do it.

A child's imagination

Apparently, they're allowed to do a lot of art work at the new day care.

She also had a tail taped to the bottom of her shirt in the back.

Ominous

This morning, I got both kids undressed. I started to work on getting Anya dressed while Ally was getting her pants on. Anya ran from me, so I gave her a second and picked out 3 shirts for Ally to choose from. Then I smelled it. shit. on the floor. I let Anya sit without a diaper for a little too long. And she was sitting in it, so it was all smushed into the carpet. I grabbed her and ran her to the bathroom and sat her on the potty chair so I could clean up. Of course, some fell off her butt onto my shoe as I did it. More to clean up. And while I cleaned up some spots so Ally wouldn't step in them (because she's totally unobservant and absolutely would) Anya decided to play with herself a little, and got it all over herself.

So I spent the morning cleaning shit off the carpet, my shoes, and Anya. Tell me your week is starting out better.

Nursing School

So here's the thing. Rob's probably going back to school full time in January. Do you hear me screaming in fear? I'm not going to search through my archives, but I know I've talked about how badly life went last time he was trrying to get his degree. Rob stresses over school. It doesn't come easily to him. Not because education is difficult for him. Quite the opposite. Learning is easy. It's the rules and the constant bullshit you have to put up with that just pushes his buttons. He's constantly on edge and it scares me that we're going to do it again.

When Rob got his bachelor's in 2006, I thought it was over. He got a job with the state, and makes a decent salary. He doesn't have to work odd shifts at the ambulance anymore. But he can if he wants to occassionally. He doesn't have to work at the hospital anymore (especially since we're not dependant on that job for day care). But he can if he wants to occassionally. But we don't have any money. We're in debt up to our eyeballs. With our current income, we could live quite comfortably if we didn't start out in the whole. But we started out poor. It took us a while to get here. We got pretty far in debt while he was in school and not making a lot, and just got further and further as we had kids and a house, etc. We've worked our asses off to get this far, but we'll never be debt free at this pace. Never.

It doesn't make any sense for me to get a new job. I make more than he does and should be getting another raise within the next year. But he's plateuaed here for a while. At his current job, he'll kept getting yearly raises, but not very big jumps. It makes the most sense for him to do something about it. Besides, he has more options.

So he's going to get his Bachelor's in Nursing. He's always wanted to be a doctor, but never had the time or money. He can do a year's program for a second bachelor's and the state might even pay for some of it. They'll almost definitely give him the time off (paperwork galore). When he gets done, he'll be on a short list for a much better paying job with the state, with hiring preferences.

Have I mentioned I'm terrified? I know I mentioned the dead broke part. Well, add to that the year without his income and the tuition and gas money and food he's giong to have to eat on the road, and it gets a lot harder to seee how this is going to get us out of debt. It's too hard to see the debt that it's going to put us into first. I don't know if this is the right thing to do. But I don't want to be too afraid to move forward with life. I don't want to not do it, just because I'm afraid it won't work out.

So, yesterday, we bought a car. We're in it for good now. Our Bonneville gets about 15 to 19 mpg. Our Durango is 12 to 16 mpg. We bought a Cobalt that gets 27-35. We're going to cut our gas cost in half (If we used the new car exclusively, which is nearly impossible, but we'll still save) by driving it into the ground over the next year and a half. We'll be able to keep the Durango in good condition and keep the miles off it at least until we get rid of the Bonneville. The Bonneville was a gift from Jennifer (Rob's sister) but her son is going to turn 16 next year, and she's asked us for it back. Now, we'll be able to give it to her him. Over the length of the course, Rob's going to have to drive about 40,000 miles, mostly interstate. If you figure the cost of gas at $3.75, this car will save him $450 a month in gas alone. The payment is a little over $200. So it's a good thing. I'm trying to convince myself of this, because it's a done deal. I'm just not sure how we'll make the payments. Come on stimulus check!

There's going to be a lot of money stress and a lot of school-work stress coming up in the next year. We didn't handle those so well the last time we did them. We damn near came apart. At least this time, I won't have an infant to add to the mix. And he'll be home at night instead of working 24 hour shifts, but he still has the option of working if we're in desperate need of cash (which we will be). And the kids are older. I hope this works.

I hope we'll still be together at the end of it to see it pay off.

Why can't beggars be choosers?

I posted some videos of Anya talking to vimeo. I love hearing her talking. I was worried about her for so long because of her eras, that it just feels good to have that worry gone. But really, couln't she pick something else to say?

The more things change, the more they stay the same

July 2007

May 2008

Also the same: ball popper, rocking horse, bad photography...

We are family

We had a lovely party for Anya last week right after her birthday. The weather wasn't too bad and a bunch of the family came over to boggle at how much space we have now celebrate with us. If ew had tried this at the old house, we would have had to pray for sunshine, since they wouldn't all fit in our one little living space. But this party was fantastic. After 5 years of annual get-togethers, our separate families are finally comfortable togther. All the respective parents have been divorced and re-married for over 20 years now, so there's no tension. We sat and relaxed and talked. Wonderful.

Of course, the main reason for the party being Anya's birthday, we had cake and presents. Cake makes any party better. I couldn't get Anya to smile for anything though. She woke from her nap a little grumpy. But she soon snapped out of it, and chased her cousins around the yard. She loved all her presents, and plays with every one of them regularly now. I always feel successful if I manage to pick presents that don't get ignored and discarded within 5 minutes. Sometimes I think I'm getting something really cool, and the kids couldn't care less. We spent within our budget, and didn't go overboard like we usually tend to.

And when people started to trickle out for the night, Rob's gramnpa got to sit and watch Anya play unattended. He sat and watched her talk to her babies, position them just so, feed them, and rearrange the clothes and diapers in their places. She has a wonderful capacty to entertain herself, and in doing so, sohe entertained Granpa vary much. He rarely has the chance to just sit and observe the kids in their own houses. He doesn't get around very well anymore, and it meant a lot to him to be able to be a part of it. We were thrilled that they decided to stay with us overnight.

I have a lot of memories of family gatherings growing up. But for some reason, I'm not really close to my extended family. I want my kids to have the same memories. I want them to have a good sense of family. Because as much as they annoy me sometimes, I wouldn't trade (most of) them for anyone else.

Weekend in Review

This was a busy weekend. I finally got rid of all the crap that's been lost in storage for a while. We had another garage sale. I don't think I'll have another one again. We shouldn't have anything large enough to make it worth it. Clothes can be donated. Anyway, we got the basement and garage cleaned out a little, made $168, made a trip to goodwill and the dumpster, and managed to park both vehicles in the garage for the first time. it's not likely to stay that way, but we have now proven that it can be done.

Yesterday, we all headed over to Grandma's house for a family gathering. I was afraid that Anya wouldn't get a nap, since we took Naomi and Marisa with us, but she fell asleep within the first 15 minutes, so she got at least an hour's hap. Which made our afternoon awesome. We ate a little. I made Ally a toasted cheese instead of fighting over trying to get her to eat turkey. I settled for Anya eating a bunch of fruit. You take what you can get. Then we all went out to the pond to go fishing. And I actually caught fish! I never catch fish. Even better - I didn't hook them very well, so a couple of them slid off the hook without any effort on my part. Anya pet one of them that I did have to pull off, but she didn't like it at all. As soon as she felt how slimy it was she started wiping her hand on her pants. But the kids ran around and played in the boat, and had a blast with their cousins. Ally loved that we let her sit in the back of the truck to ride the quarter mile back there. I was terrified. I swore I'd never let her do that. but I held onto her the whole time and made her sit up toward the cab.

Then the kids wandered off back to the house, and left Rob, me, Uncle Rick and Aunt Cara alone. I'll say that again. Alone. In the peaceful quiet at the pond in the woods with no kids around. There was only one thing to do. We had no choice. Can you guess? Here's a hint.

If you still don't know, you're obviously not from central Illinois. We went mushroom hunting. Although it wasn't too hard of a hunt, because there were patches of them all over. If we found a couple, we found 20 more. They were all clumped up in 3's and 4's.

After a while, we ran out of places to look (or got thirsty and tired) Grandpa weighed our find at around 6 pounds, while we loaded up on some delicious blackberry cobbler (yummy, Ruth!) We checked a few more places but only found a little more and gave up the search for the night. I gave Rick the pictures off my camera to settle a bet with a neighbor and went back upstairs to finish sewing Anya a couple more of her little blankets. We were down to one, and it's damn near impossible to find a good time to wash it. And it gets nasty pretty quick since she chews on it and occasionally (If you define occasionally as every 5 minutes) sticks it in her nose.

By that time, it was 7:00 and way past time to leave. Anya fell asleep on the way back, but woke as soon as we hit the driveway, so I was able to dunk them both in the bathtub and throw them in bed. They were asleep in no time. Miracle of miracles, the dog managed to keep her cage dry the whole time we were gone, too. Her bladder's getting bigger finally. Rob and I crashed soon after the kids did.

And this is where things get itchy.

Then I was rudely awakened to help him pull off a tick at 2:00 am. Fuckin' ticks! He woke up because he itched from a chiggar (sp?), walked into the bathroom to deal with it, and felt a tick on his back. It was still walking around, so he pulled it off, but found one on his leg that he needed help with. He couldn't find the tweezers or needle or stuff. So I got up to help and found one on my ankle. Mom checked my head before I left Grandma's and I checked the kids heads after bath, but I got creeped out and had Rob check my head again. He found a little round rash on the side of my head. Lyme disease? (link) I don't remember being bitten by a tick before and I hadn't been in the woods recently. But I don't get a good look at the side of my head all that often, so who knows how long it's been like that. So I went to the doctor today. My doc was out of the office, so I had to go to Prompt Care, and the doctor there thought it was a fungus, not Lyme disease, but the test said it wasn't, so he basically just shrugged and said, oh well. Apparently, he thinks it's some unknown random insect bite that got inflamed and it's not worth doing a test for Lyme disease. I'm not sure why. So for the next week, I'm going to have Rob obsessively look at my head, because I can't and make him give me a progress report on whether it's getting bigger or redder or maybe sprouting a little bitty tomato. Who knows? The doctor didn't say it wouldn't. 

I checked the kids again this morning and they still look clean. I can't even imagine how Ally would freak out if we had to hold her still to pull off a tick. She wouldn't even let me touch her wrist after the cat scratched her the other day and it was barely even scratched (In Boris' defense, she "helped" him fall into the bath water with her). I hope they continue to be bug free. FOr that matter, I hope we all do. Ugh.

Delayed.

Weekend update coming soon.

Have to run to the doctor first. Think I might have Lyme disease.

Duck walk

This morning we pulled up to the parking lot at day care only to see the teachers outside with their camera. My kids are usually the first ones there, so there weren't any kids to watch. But I was curious about what they were doing. It turns out they had seen a duck walking across the lot and went to take some pictures for the kids later. The ducks got a little leery of the attention and Mama Duck decided to take a detour and hide for a bit. She hopped up a curb so she could hide in the bushes. And then we got to see the funniest thing I've seen lately. The ducklings had to try to hop up there too. It took many, many tries and Ally and I were giggling like crazy. One of the ducklings only succeeded after jumping, almost falling and then pushing off the head of one of his siblings to finally make it.  I wish I had a video of them getting up there. They all crowded together under the bush. I grabbed my camera too, and let Ally take a picture.

She went in to day care, and I went back to the car and hid out for a minute. As soon as she thought the coast was clear, she took them down off the other side. Watching them hop off was almost as funny as hopping up. (Click for bigger)

Papa duck was standing nearby the whole time. Just far enough that he could take attention off them. And then when I started the car he went into defense mode and pretended to be hurt. He pulled up a leg and dropped a wing, hoping to fool any predators. So cute.