Life, the Universe, and Everything

Hail!

Have you ever had that weird feeling when you talk about something and then 4 days later, it happens. Just this weekend, Rob Darra and I were talking about how we've never even seen hail bigger than like pea sized. Or maybe a little bigger, but really flattened. And tonight, we're getting the thunderstorm from hell. (Yes, I am still sitting at my computer thnk you very much. It was cool. I thought I'd share) The rain (rain, rain came down, down, down) started falling and then got louder and louder, so we went to the porch to investigate. The hail was little, but I ran out to get some to show the kids. And then it started getting bigger and bigger. Check this out.

No, that's not one on the kid's foot. Just a flash. Still - look at that one there on the sidewalk. Isn't it abnormally large? Those of you that have seen hail like this before can just keep your poo-poo-nig to yourselves. It was neat. And then it let up a little bit, so of course, we had to take a short walk.

Now it's pouring again, and I have to get the girls to bed. Think they'll sleep?

Wii III

I am such a contest whore. but I still haven't won one, so I'll just keep trying.

Here's the latest. This site looks likea  pretty cool gaming review site. I'm going to have to check it out and see if I'll actaully like the wii. Read some reviews and stuff.

The Spirit of Childhood

5minutesformom and Nestlé Crunch are looking for photos that reveal the spirit of childhood. And they're giving away a Wii* to someone who participates. Here's my best shot.

The thrill of finding a dandelion gone to seed in a yard full of green and yellow,
The anticipation of blowing the seeds while making a wish.
The absolute conviction that wish will come true,
The innocence of childhood.

*Yes, I already tried to win a wii. But I didn't. So I'm trying again. (There will probably be more entries like these too. I'm a cheapsake.

I'm going to have nightmares

So, remember last weekend, we went and painted ceramics? Of course, you do. I haven't posted anything since then. Except the post I just finished with. You should read it too. It has a fun game you can play along with. l

Last night, I went and picked up our creations. They were cute little naked frogs and fish to start with. I painted one of the frogs, and he's still pretty cute. Anya got a little carried away with the fish, and he's got about 18 layers of colors on him. He actually started out yellow, but since I was using green, she had to too. he's kinda, um, unusual. And then the sprawled out frog, was done in a rush. Anya was finished. he just got some paint splashed on him and we called it done.I'm thinking we're going to put some sticky on the back of them and stick them to the kid's bathroom mirror. It's a frog theme bathroom.

And Mom and Ally were working on a little cat candy dish. It is a cute little thing. They decided to paint it gray and black, since that's what color Natalia is. Natalia is shy and doesn't come out when people are there. So when we have company, we can put out the candy dish and haha, it'll be like Natalia is there. Cute, right? But then they started adding brown and yellow, and I think Ally even added some green. I had my doubts about what it was actually going to look like. Mom assured me that it would be wonderful after they fired it in the kiln. Here it is.

But before Mom even got there, I had started the kids on cute little cats. Ally wanted to paint them pink, and anything Ally wants, Anya wants too, so pink it was. But they had to be decorated too. So Ally put a row of flower stickers down it's back, and Anya randomly placed them on the cat. She picked a dragonfly for the top of it's head. whatever doesn't get painted comes out of the kiln white. I though it would give the cats character. I wasn't wrong.

 

I took over for Anya when it came to the eyes. (OK, I helped her with all of it) I made them green/black. And it didn't turn out too bad. Ally, I thought, was old enough to pick out her own cat eye-color. And, to paint it herself. When I saw her choice, I knew it would end badly, but I showed marvelous restraint and gushed over what a great job she had done instead of ripping out her stitches because they weren't good enough to be in my quilt re-painting it for her. And this is why we now have one cute little kitten and one whose eyes are bleeding.

It's also why I'll be afraid to go into the kitchen at night. The cat's going to get me.

Drama (Part 1)

Let's play a game. I'll make up a hypothetical situation, and you tell me what you'd do. It'll be fun.

Say your husband asks if he can go on a trip. One of his friends has a kid that needs to go to some function in Wash DC, but the kid isn't old enough to fly there himself. So the friend has to go too, and just kill time for a few days until it's time to pick up the kid and fly home again. Your husband wants to fly out too and kill time with him. This is a friend (Oh, I'm sick of typing friend, let's give this made-up person a name. Terry) who your husband very rarely gets to see, because of work schedules and distance, and he'd really like to have the chance to catch up. Also, Terry's wife really hates your husband. She throws a fit every time they hang out thogether, and Terry is not likely to tell her that your husband is going.

And then factor in that your husband is planning on doing something very expensive (uh, let's make up something here...) like going to nursing school in the near future. And that in preparation for that, he has bought a car that pushed your budget over the top and into actually planning on having a negative cash flow every month and using savings to make up for it. Add in the already existing debt of over 35K (let's just forget that little tidbit as soon as we're done with this conversation though. we really don't like to dwell on it. Besides, this is entirely hypothetical, right?) and the fact that we rarely met our budget before. And just for shits and grins, let's add in another major purchase. How about a house? That's sure to complicate the situation.

So, let's review. Terry is going to Wash DC. He's paying for the hotel and everything, because he's already giong to be there. Your husband argues that it's the cheapest he'll ever have a chance at because, hey, free lodging! But he has to pay for tickets. And he'd be paying over $300 and flying halfway across the country to see a friend who lives 2 hours form us. Your husband has little or no time saved at work, so you would have to stay home with any sick kids in the future using the time you have planned ahead and saved. Your husband is entirely incapable of sitting still and not spending money. Hotel may be free, but meals? not. museums? not. Any sort of recreation other than sitting in the room staring at each other? not. I can't see it costing less than $600.

Would you agree to the trip? After all, your husband won't get a chance like this any time again. And he hasn't seen Terry in the past 2 years (except that once last week, when he took the day off work (using his precious vacation time) and drove 2 and a half hours to have lunch at Cracker Barrel and bought him lunch and talked for a couple hours). Should your husband be allowed some time with his friend?  Is it worth the money if it's something he wants really badly?

Or would you tell him that he's being ridiculous, and that the reason he never gets a chance to spend time with Terry is that he's too lazy to actually plan something out. And that Terry is a very lazy friend and always depends on Rob your husband to make that connection. He'll call up and ask Rob (oops, your husband again) to make the effort. And your husband likes him, so he's glad to hear from him and jumps to the rescue. (Did I forget to mentino that you're not particularly fond of Terry?)  Would you tell him that if Terry really wanted to see husband, he'd get up off his ass and come meet him occasionally? And that your husband's being an ass for wanting to spend that much money when we're you're already sinking further into the hole and about to take a terrifying leap even farther. That if he was a little less selfish, he'd see that necesary or not, this next year could break you and you need to plan for that as much as you can now.

Let me know. Then we'll continue on with our little hypothetical game...

Monday again? crap

We had a busy weekend once again. Friday night, Rob went to work on the ambulance, and only got about 20 minutes of sleep. So, for me, this meant that I had to watch the kids alone on Friday night, and also on Saturday morning, so he could sleep. They did pretty well on Friday, but were bouncing off the walls the next morning, keeping Rob awake, so I did what any good mother would do. I took them to McDonald's. Ally ran and ran at the play place, while Anya ate. Ally had kids to talk to and Anya had fruit and yogurt parfait. "To each his own", they say, and this was the perfect solution for them.

By the time I had had enough, mom was on her way to town to let the girls (hers (well, Christy's), not mine) stay with their dad's ex-fiance (could our family tree get any more complicated? It's like 2 trees that grew really close together, and then some of the branches got all entwined. Or something like that). She wanted me to meet her at the ceramic place. It was pretty cool. They have all these little ceramic things that to pick from. and tons f colors of paint and brushes and little groups tables all set up. You paint and decorate and have a good ol' time, and then when you're done... you leave your mess behind and they clean it all up for you! And they fire your crap art and you come get it in a couple weeks. Ally made a bright pink bleeding eyed cat, and Anya made a seriously ugly fish (plus some more stuff). Mom says that the appearance after painting is far removed from the appearance after firing, so we'll just see how this whole thing turns out.

Then home for a short little nap, and off again. this time to our old house. Rob made a somewhat questionable decision to offer to help the new people figure out the pool when it was time to open it. Yeah, it was nice and all, but I'm so sick of the pool! They're pretty nice people and were thrilled to be able to show off what they've done to the house. Which was quite substantial actually. They put in an extra support beam under the deck (which needed it forever, but it never collapsed on us, so it wasn't a priority), reinforced a couple of the post, so it didn't lean so much, added trim to the kitchen to set it off form the living room, painted every bedroom, added trim to one of them, and put down about eleventy-billion bags of mulch to finish the original project we had started, but run out of money for.

So we tried to get the pool set up and got most of the way done before we found out that they had given away one of the 2x4s we used, and somehow managed to lose one of the gaskets. We got everything else done, and Rob promised to check with the pool stores when they opened and go back the next day. And when he went back, he stupidly reached out to let their (mean looking) dog sniff his fingers. The dog promptly bit one and tried to drag Rob into the cage to eat him up. Rob is guessing that maybe the chlorine residue on his fingers burnt the dog's nose and set him off, but who knows? Anyway, we're currently waiting to see if his finger falls off or not. so far, we're leaning toward probably not.

Meanwhile, the kids and I were chillin' at home. We had a nice low-key morning filled with singing and mess making and random cleaning projects. (I can never manage to have more than about 3 rooms in the house clean at any point. this weekend, it was my room, bathroom, and Anya's room with a bonus of all the laundry being put away) Ally spent some time on http://playhousedisney.com and had a good time while Anya sat on the floor playing and singing to herself in her room.

When they got good and tired out, I let Anya climb up into Ally's bed for naptime while Ally was finishing up in the bathroom. That kid takes 5 years to take a piss. I can't imagine how much time she'll spend in there when she's a teenager. Anyway, Anya was asleep by the time Ally was finally ready for nap, so it went extremely well. Ally didn't stay awake talking to her or fighting with her. I remember falling asleep with my sister fondly. It's one of the best things about having a sister. Anya was pissed that I wouldn't let her sleep in there last night too. But she's really not ready to be sleeping on a bunk bed. I don't really know why I let them at nap, except that they had been playing together really well.

After nap, a bath and trip to the evil Walmart. They're opening a new Walmart about 3 miles from me just in time for my birthday. Happy birthday to me! By the time we got home, there was barely enough time for dinner before bedtime. And they crashed quickly too.

Which left time from Rob and I to watch another one of my new DVD's of Buffy I bought with an Amazon gift certificate. I love Buffy, but the sixth season starts out kinda creepy. I'm glad I was too tired to be dreaming of scary things last night.

And here I am at work again. yippee. bleh. At least next weekend is a 3 day weekend. can't wait.

Motivation

Remember last summer when I decided to try to exercise more? hmmm, me either. it was mostly about escaping, and I tried to fool myself into not hoping I'd lose some weight to. But it totally would have worked. You know, if it hadn't gotten cold as a witch's tit. Winter in Illinois sucks ass. So I ran for about a month. I haven't done it since.

The bad thing is I think about exercising and getting healthier all the time. Mostly while I'm eating cookies or cake (mmm... cake). But I'm too lazy and tired to do anything about it. I have about 20 extra pounds that I'd like to lose, but just can't be bothered to actually stop shoving food in my pie hole. Rob is the same way. He weighs himself all the time and is excited when his weight holds steady at any number lower than it was last week. But instead of trying to eat less, Rob attacks the problem in true male fashion. He goes overboard. And he spends lots of money.

His first try was many many years ago. We got an ab-roller at a garage sale. He couldn't even figure out how to use it right. And I think that the designers knew that if they made the thing collapsible, people would collapse it right up and put it in the closet never to be seen again. Instead, they made it large and bulky. it sits in the corner not quite out of the way. Mocking you, Or in our case, mocking Rob, for not using it. And mocking me for going along with the purchase even though I knew it was a bad idea. it had to go. I love Freecycle. People come and pick up your crap in no time.

Then we finally managed to collect all Rob's crap from various relatives houses where it collected dust, forgotten was stored for years before he settled down. And of course, there was a heavy bag (one of those hanging kicking bag things)in the pile of crap. There's a reason it's called a heavy bag. It's heavy. And big and bulky. Before we had kids, he actually hung it from the bottom of our deck and used it once or twice. After Ally was born, the hooks were re-purposed for a baby swing. But the thing lurked in the garage. He insisted that he'd use it. If only he had time. Ha. Never going to happen. The freecycle people came and picked it up in just a little over an hour.

At this point, we're still out very little money. Apparently, Rob decided that was the problem. If we spent MORE money, we'd get better equipment, right?

Fuck.

So he went shopping for a home gym. He'd worked out at Basic pretty often, and liked the weight machines at the gym there, but didn't think he had time or motivation to go to a gym alone. So a home gym would be the perfect solution. Never mind the fact that we'd have to put it in the (one car) garage. Or that he claimed never to have enough time to run and how the heck would he have enough time for a full workout. of course, he'd work out, if only he had the right materials to do it with. I put my foot down. There was no way I was going to buy a $300 weight system + weights + barbells.

We got it around Christmas. But the garage was cold. So we had to buy a heater for it. But the floor was still cold, so we had to buy some of those foam mat things so he could do push-ups and sit-ups out there. Even though we had a fully carpeted house. It would ruin his concentration if he had to come inside for that. And he had to have new exercise shoes so he could go running too. Of course he did. And don't forget about the mp3 player he had to have to take running with ihm.

Soon, it started to snow. Of course, we HAD to put at least one vehicle in the garage, so he rearranged so that we could. Not surprisingly, it became too much of an effort to pull the bench back out so that he could use it. So the thing sat there, halfway blocking the back door out the garage for god only knows how long, when one day he got the idea to take it to the ambulance bay with him. He always works out better with other people around. What a great idea! And I think he actually used it a little there. A lot of people did. And they didn't take care of it well. It eventually made it's way home. We wouldn't want people to tear up a gym system we have absolutely no use for, now would we? Finally I convinced him to give it up. We sold it for $75 including all the weights we bought. It physically hurt me to think about that money wasted.

But apparently Rob can't say the same, because while I was pregnant with Anya, he decided to apply for a police job. But they have to pass a physical test to be considered. You see where I'm going with this, don't you? Well, a home gym didn't work, so he thought it was a good idea to pay the outrageous signup fee at Gold's Gym without talking it over with me first. I'm still not thrilled about that one. Over $200 just to have the privilege of paying them a monthly fee! Oh, and did I mention there was a 2 year contract? Total price to date is around $1000. Yes, he still has the membership. He's probably only used it around 20 times in the last 2 years. We're canceling it this month. (He never even went often enough to be confident to pass the test, so he didn't even apply for the job)

I had to change my address the other day on my drivers license. They asked me about height and weight. I haven't weighed that much little since high school. i reluctantly updated it, but I still lied. I couldn't bring myself to face the real number. I need to get fit. I know that it's all about motivation. Not about the equipment you have (unlike Rob).

I'm not letting him spend any more money on exercise equipment. Especially if we can't work up the motivation. The money would be better off spent on something we can enjoy and will actually use. Like a Wii. Hey, wait. Wii has a exercise game - Wii Fit. I don't have the money to spend on it either. But maybe I can win one. Surely we could work out if it was a game...

Did ya notice?

I put a new photo album up. But because typepad doesn't have an optino for sorting in reverse order, it's way down there under all the older albums. I really wish they'd fix that. Anyway, I finally got Anya's 2 year pictures taken. I hate to say it, but they were 2 weeks late. And I completely skipped December. She's supposed to be on a every 2months (plus Christmas card pics) schedule and I'm blowing it. But we've been busy. And it's absolutley killing me that I'm going to have to label these pictures as April (when her birthday is) but they were actually taken in May. ugh.

Anyway.

I'll save you all the scrolling

2008-04

spooning

Rob climbs into bed after shutting the bathroom door so the window light doesn't shine on us as we try to fall asleep. It's early enough that neither one of is drop-dead tired yet. We lay close and have a random sleepy conversation. Rob pulls me close and I roll onto my side so he can wrap his arms around me. He reaches over me and lays his hand on my... cat.

"Is that Boris? Are you spooning with the cat?"

Is there something wrong with that?

Kirtsy

So the whole world is blogging about this outrageous lawsuit thing. And sk*rt is no longer sk*rt. But I love that they kept the same look and feel. They even kept the little * over the i in the logo. They took the high road and moved on. (And I definitely think the picked a great new name. I'm just glad it wasn't phlox! ugh.) And they kept their sense of humor about the whole thing. Did you see the ! in the alt text? Go on, hover over the image. heh

So, anyway, make sure you take your skirt off, and kirtsy while you do it.

A child's imagination

Apparently, they're allowed to do a lot of art work at the new day care.

She also had a tail taped to the bottom of her shirt in the back.

Ominous

This morning, I got both kids undressed. I started to work on getting Anya dressed while Ally was getting her pants on. Anya ran from me, so I gave her a second and picked out 3 shirts for Ally to choose from. Then I smelled it. shit. on the floor. I let Anya sit without a diaper for a little too long. And she was sitting in it, so it was all smushed into the carpet. I grabbed her and ran her to the bathroom and sat her on the potty chair so I could clean up. Of course, some fell off her butt onto my shoe as I did it. More to clean up. And while I cleaned up some spots so Ally wouldn't step in them (because she's totally unobservant and absolutely would) Anya decided to play with herself a little, and got it all over herself.

So I spent the morning cleaning shit off the carpet, my shoes, and Anya. Tell me your week is starting out better.

Nursing School

So here's the thing. Rob's probably going back to school full time in January. Do you hear me screaming in fear? I'm not going to search through my archives, but I know I've talked about how badly life went last time he was trrying to get his degree. Rob stresses over school. It doesn't come easily to him. Not because education is difficult for him. Quite the opposite. Learning is easy. It's the rules and the constant bullshit you have to put up with that just pushes his buttons. He's constantly on edge and it scares me that we're going to do it again.

When Rob got his bachelor's in 2006, I thought it was over. He got a job with the state, and makes a decent salary. He doesn't have to work odd shifts at the ambulance anymore. But he can if he wants to occassionally. He doesn't have to work at the hospital anymore (especially since we're not dependant on that job for day care). But he can if he wants to occassionally. But we don't have any money. We're in debt up to our eyeballs. With our current income, we could live quite comfortably if we didn't start out in the whole. But we started out poor. It took us a while to get here. We got pretty far in debt while he was in school and not making a lot, and just got further and further as we had kids and a house, etc. We've worked our asses off to get this far, but we'll never be debt free at this pace. Never.

It doesn't make any sense for me to get a new job. I make more than he does and should be getting another raise within the next year. But he's plateuaed here for a while. At his current job, he'll kept getting yearly raises, but not very big jumps. It makes the most sense for him to do something about it. Besides, he has more options.

So he's going to get his Bachelor's in Nursing. He's always wanted to be a doctor, but never had the time or money. He can do a year's program for a second bachelor's and the state might even pay for some of it. They'll almost definitely give him the time off (paperwork galore). When he gets done, he'll be on a short list for a much better paying job with the state, with hiring preferences.

Have I mentioned I'm terrified? I know I mentioned the dead broke part. Well, add to that the year without his income and the tuition and gas money and food he's giong to have to eat on the road, and it gets a lot harder to seee how this is going to get us out of debt. It's too hard to see the debt that it's going to put us into first. I don't know if this is the right thing to do. But I don't want to be too afraid to move forward with life. I don't want to not do it, just because I'm afraid it won't work out.

So, yesterday, we bought a car. We're in it for good now. Our Bonneville gets about 15 to 19 mpg. Our Durango is 12 to 16 mpg. We bought a Cobalt that gets 27-35. We're going to cut our gas cost in half (If we used the new car exclusively, which is nearly impossible, but we'll still save) by driving it into the ground over the next year and a half. We'll be able to keep the Durango in good condition and keep the miles off it at least until we get rid of the Bonneville. The Bonneville was a gift from Jennifer (Rob's sister) but her son is going to turn 16 next year, and she's asked us for it back. Now, we'll be able to give it to her him. Over the length of the course, Rob's going to have to drive about 40,000 miles, mostly interstate. If you figure the cost of gas at $3.75, this car will save him $450 a month in gas alone. The payment is a little over $200. So it's a good thing. I'm trying to convince myself of this, because it's a done deal. I'm just not sure how we'll make the payments. Come on stimulus check!

There's going to be a lot of money stress and a lot of school-work stress coming up in the next year. We didn't handle those so well the last time we did them. We damn near came apart. At least this time, I won't have an infant to add to the mix. And he'll be home at night instead of working 24 hour shifts, but he still has the option of working if we're in desperate need of cash (which we will be). And the kids are older. I hope this works.

I hope we'll still be together at the end of it to see it pay off.

Why can't beggars be choosers?

I posted some videos of Anya talking to vimeo. I love hearing her talking. I was worried about her for so long because of her eras, that it just feels good to have that worry gone. But really, couln't she pick something else to say?

The more things change, the more they stay the same

July 2007

May 2008

Also the same: ball popper, rocking horse, bad photography...

We are family

We had a lovely party for Anya last week right after her birthday. The weather wasn't too bad and a bunch of the family came over to boggle at how much space we have now celebrate with us. If ew had tried this at the old house, we would have had to pray for sunshine, since they wouldn't all fit in our one little living space. But this party was fantastic. After 5 years of annual get-togethers, our separate families are finally comfortable togther. All the respective parents have been divorced and re-married for over 20 years now, so there's no tension. We sat and relaxed and talked. Wonderful.

Of course, the main reason for the party being Anya's birthday, we had cake and presents. Cake makes any party better. I couldn't get Anya to smile for anything though. She woke from her nap a little grumpy. But she soon snapped out of it, and chased her cousins around the yard. She loved all her presents, and plays with every one of them regularly now. I always feel successful if I manage to pick presents that don't get ignored and discarded within 5 minutes. Sometimes I think I'm getting something really cool, and the kids couldn't care less. We spent within our budget, and didn't go overboard like we usually tend to.

And when people started to trickle out for the night, Rob's gramnpa got to sit and watch Anya play unattended. He sat and watched her talk to her babies, position them just so, feed them, and rearrange the clothes and diapers in their places. She has a wonderful capacty to entertain herself, and in doing so, sohe entertained Granpa vary much. He rarely has the chance to just sit and observe the kids in their own houses. He doesn't get around very well anymore, and it meant a lot to him to be able to be a part of it. We were thrilled that they decided to stay with us overnight.

I have a lot of memories of family gatherings growing up. But for some reason, I'm not really close to my extended family. I want my kids to have the same memories. I want them to have a good sense of family. Because as much as they annoy me sometimes, I wouldn't trade (most of) them for anyone else.

Weekend in Review

This was a busy weekend. I finally got rid of all the crap that's been lost in storage for a while. We had another garage sale. I don't think I'll have another one again. We shouldn't have anything large enough to make it worth it. Clothes can be donated. Anyway, we got the basement and garage cleaned out a little, made $168, made a trip to goodwill and the dumpster, and managed to park both vehicles in the garage for the first time. it's not likely to stay that way, but we have now proven that it can be done.

Yesterday, we all headed over to Grandma's house for a family gathering. I was afraid that Anya wouldn't get a nap, since we took Naomi and Marisa with us, but she fell asleep within the first 15 minutes, so she got at least an hour's hap. Which made our afternoon awesome. We ate a little. I made Ally a toasted cheese instead of fighting over trying to get her to eat turkey. I settled for Anya eating a bunch of fruit. You take what you can get. Then we all went out to the pond to go fishing. And I actually caught fish! I never catch fish. Even better - I didn't hook them very well, so a couple of them slid off the hook without any effort on my part. Anya pet one of them that I did have to pull off, but she didn't like it at all. As soon as she felt how slimy it was she started wiping her hand on her pants. But the kids ran around and played in the boat, and had a blast with their cousins. Ally loved that we let her sit in the back of the truck to ride the quarter mile back there. I was terrified. I swore I'd never let her do that. but I held onto her the whole time and made her sit up toward the cab.

Then the kids wandered off back to the house, and left Rob, me, Uncle Rick and Aunt Cara alone. I'll say that again. Alone. In the peaceful quiet at the pond in the woods with no kids around. There was only one thing to do. We had no choice. Can you guess? Here's a hint.

If you still don't know, you're obviously not from central Illinois. We went mushroom hunting. Although it wasn't too hard of a hunt, because there were patches of them all over. If we found a couple, we found 20 more. They were all clumped up in 3's and 4's.

After a while, we ran out of places to look (or got thirsty and tired) Grandpa weighed our find at around 6 pounds, while we loaded up on some delicious blackberry cobbler (yummy, Ruth!) We checked a few more places but only found a little more and gave up the search for the night. I gave Rick the pictures off my camera to settle a bet with a neighbor and went back upstairs to finish sewing Anya a couple more of her little blankets. We were down to one, and it's damn near impossible to find a good time to wash it. And it gets nasty pretty quick since she chews on it and occasionally (If you define occasionally as every 5 minutes) sticks it in her nose.

By that time, it was 7:00 and way past time to leave. Anya fell asleep on the way back, but woke as soon as we hit the driveway, so I was able to dunk them both in the bathtub and throw them in bed. They were asleep in no time. Miracle of miracles, the dog managed to keep her cage dry the whole time we were gone, too. Her bladder's getting bigger finally. Rob and I crashed soon after the kids did.

And this is where things get itchy.

Then I was rudely awakened to help him pull off a tick at 2:00 am. Fuckin' ticks! He woke up because he itched from a chiggar (sp?), walked into the bathroom to deal with it, and felt a tick on his back. It was still walking around, so he pulled it off, but found one on his leg that he needed help with. He couldn't find the tweezers or needle or stuff. So I got up to help and found one on my ankle. Mom checked my head before I left Grandma's and I checked the kids heads after bath, but I got creeped out and had Rob check my head again. He found a little round rash on the side of my head. Lyme disease? (link) I don't remember being bitten by a tick before and I hadn't been in the woods recently. But I don't get a good look at the side of my head all that often, so who knows how long it's been like that. So I went to the doctor today. My doc was out of the office, so I had to go to Prompt Care, and the doctor there thought it was a fungus, not Lyme disease, but the test said it wasn't, so he basically just shrugged and said, oh well. Apparently, he thinks it's some unknown random insect bite that got inflamed and it's not worth doing a test for Lyme disease. I'm not sure why. So for the next week, I'm going to have Rob obsessively look at my head, because I can't and make him give me a progress report on whether it's getting bigger or redder or maybe sprouting a little bitty tomato. Who knows? The doctor didn't say it wouldn't. 

I checked the kids again this morning and they still look clean. I can't even imagine how Ally would freak out if we had to hold her still to pull off a tick. She wouldn't even let me touch her wrist after the cat scratched her the other day and it was barely even scratched (In Boris' defense, she "helped" him fall into the bath water with her). I hope they continue to be bug free. FOr that matter, I hope we all do. Ugh.

Delayed.

Weekend update coming soon.

Have to run to the doctor first. Think I might have Lyme disease.

Duck walk

This morning we pulled up to the parking lot at day care only to see the teachers outside with their camera. My kids are usually the first ones there, so there weren't any kids to watch. But I was curious about what they were doing. It turns out they had seen a duck walking across the lot and went to take some pictures for the kids later. The ducks got a little leery of the attention and Mama Duck decided to take a detour and hide for a bit. She hopped up a curb so she could hide in the bushes. And then we got to see the funniest thing I've seen lately. The ducklings had to try to hop up there too. It took many, many tries and Ally and I were giggling like crazy. One of the ducklings only succeeded after jumping, almost falling and then pushing off the head of one of his siblings to finally make it.  I wish I had a video of them getting up there. They all crowded together under the bush. I grabbed my camera too, and let Ally take a picture.

She went in to day care, and I went back to the car and hid out for a minute. As soon as she thought the coast was clear, she took them down off the other side. Watching them hop off was almost as funny as hopping up. (Click for bigger)

Papa duck was standing nearby the whole time. Just far enough that he could take attention off them. And then when I started the car he went into defense mode and pretended to be hurt. He pulled up a leg and dropped a wing, hoping to fool any predators. So cute.

God, dammit!

Disclaimer: This post is likely to offend some most of you on some level. I'm sorry about that. I feel it needs to be told though. Also, it's going to be long and boring. You might want to skip it.

Background:
We've had day care issues before.
The kids started this day care in August/September.
Ally just started a new room in February.
Her teacher is Miss Bert.
Rob is an atheist.
I have a severe mistrust of organized crime religion.
Neither one of us is willing to let other people make decisions for us.

In late February, Ally came home form day care excited about what she'd learned that day. They had been working on rainbows all week and bringing home crafts with rainbows all over them. So I wasn't surprised that she started telling me about rainbows. I was, however, a little taken aback when she started telling me about Noah and the flood. Her day care isn't a church day care. And then she started telling me that Jesus comes into your heart to help you be brave when you are scared. of course, Ally didn't need her (heh) in her heart, because she's braver than the scary things, and if she gets scared, she'll just be scarier and grr at them and scare them away. I asked her where she learned about Jesus (Miss Bert), I laughed it off, and silently agreed with her. But I did mention it to Rob. And we were a little concerned.

The flood story wasn't so disconcerting. It is a story. It exists in just about every religion worldwide, in some form or another. The Christians just ripped it off of the many (many) cultures that came before them. (like many other things (*cough* Chirstimas *cough*) (This is where I piss some of you off.) The Christians even fight over bible stories themselves. Some believe the bible is "The Truth" (capitalization and all) and some believe that the bible stories are parables meant to teach a lesson (piss God off enough, and he will smite you) So, whatever. Mostly harmless. The flood is all over the world in some way or another. She's going to run into it. Hell, we've got a Little People Noah's ark set (Why are you not surprised?)

But the Jesus bit kinda worried me. This is less of a cute little (genocidal) bible story and more of a theology lesson for kids. And I think that 4 is too young to actually understand the complications of religion. I don't want my kids blindly accepting things on faith. I want them to be able to make an informed decision when they can. 4 is not the time for it. I don't want some random stranger brain-washing my kids without my permission. They have my permission to brain-wash them for countless other things. Societal norms like it's not right to piss yourself, you must use manners, wash your hands, don't pick your nose, etc. I didn't give permission for the bible lessons. I had Anya at a church day care for a month while we were on a waiting list for our other day care when she was born. I had to sign a statement allowing permission for them to teach bible lessons then, when she was 10 weeks old. But apparently, because this is a private day care, they can do whatever they want.

Are you still reading this? Told you it was going to be long.

Anyway, Ally was brave enough she could take care of herself, and that's where I left it. Until a couple weeks later when she started another conversation with me. We were watching The Land Before Time, and she told me that Littlefoot didn't need Jesus in his heart, because his mother was there. And then she started telling me who might have Jesus in their heart and who might not. And she (heh) really is real because Miss Bert said so. This was disturbing. This meant that the religious brain-washing was not a one time story type thing. It had continued enough that Ally was extrapolating into her life. But she was not old enough to understand what it was she believed. Or old enough to understand that there are differences of opinion on this. Her teacher thinks it's real, so IT IS.

But! She's only 4. Who actually knows what is going on in those 9 hours a day that we aren't with her. She hears and understands more than most people give her credit for, and she is only 4. We were concerned; we wanted an explanation, but were not pissed off. Yet.

So we went to see the director and talk to her about it. Her first response was "I don't have a problem with what Miss Bert is doing." uh, fine... but what is it that she's doing? "Well, we don't have a set curriculum. The teachers plan their lessons on their own. You'd have to talk to Miss Bert about that" But this is not a Christian day care. There is no mention of it in the handbook. There was no disclosure. You think this is right? "Well, that's the beauty of this being MY day care" And then she offered to waive our 2 weeks notice requirement if we wanted to leave.

She treated us like we were wrong for questioning her. Like she had the right to make these kind of decisions about MY kid without telling me. Like by bringing it to her attention, we were only trying to cause trouble. We were trying to answer some questions. We didn't once question her beliefs. We didn't attack her. I don't give a rat's ass if she worships the tooth fairy. It's none of my business. And that's the crux of it. I don't believe our religious beliefs are any of her business either. And that includes Ally's teachers. So what if she's a "good Christian and that naturally spills over into her everyday life" I'm a gassy person, but I control it so that I don't fart at inappropriate times. Why can't I expect the same respect from the bible-thumpers? (Yes, I just compared religion to flatulence. This is the part where I piss the rest of you off)

I'll shut up soon. I think. It seems I have a lot to say about this.

We left our meeting very unenthused about the way we were treated. The way our concerns were dismissed out of hand because she had "never had a problem with it before." My confidence in the day care was gone. Not because of the religious aspects of it. Remember, we went to talk to her with the intention of finding out some information. We didn't get it. We were put down for seeking it. I don't know about you, but I'm not going to let anyone tell me that I don't have the right to question what my child is doing outside of my care. If this had nothing to do with religion at all; if this was about someone bullying my kid, I had no confidence that the issue would be addressed. She didn't think she was accountable to anyone.

And yet. She was the director. We didn't have to deal with her much. The teacher is the one watching the kids all day. We were very reasonable and waited a day or too, until we had calmed down a little, and Rob went to talk to the teacher when he picked Ally up one day without me. Midway through the conversation, the director came down and jumped his ass for harassing her teacher. She was the one who told us to talk to Miss Bert. The director accused Rob of trying to cause problems, of being a troublemaker. She said it's obvious that I don't agree with him since I didn't say much in our conversation (I was too pissed) earlier in the week. and that Ally was a difficult child to begin with.

what?

Apparently, the reason Ally has been picking up so much of the religious talk is that she hasn't been napping well. Miss Bert has been counseling people for her church while the kids were napping. Ally wasn't asleep, therefore she overheard it all and asked questions about it. And the teacher answered them instead of telling her to talk to us.

1. It's her fucking job to watch my kids. I pay a crapload of money for it. If she's not sleeping, too fucking bad. Try to get her to sleep. That's your job.

2. If you can't get her to sleep, too fucking bad. Just because it's naptime, doesn't mean you're free to use the time for other shit. Watch my kid like you're being paid to.

3. Don't you dare blame my kid for your laziness. Because you're too fucking lazy to get up and walk to another room is not a valid reason for subjecting my kids to something I don't agree with.

4. You don't have the right to make these decisions for me. They are my kids.

5. I have no idea what your religious beliefs are. You could be a goat killing voo-doo person for all I know. IF I'm going to allow Ally to be taught in a religious environment, I have the right to determine what sort of environment that is going to be. If I believe that communion becomes the actual blood and body of Christ, then I'll send her to a Catholic church. If I believe that they are body and blood AND cracker and wine/grape juice, I'll try the Lutherans. If I believe they're only symbolic, I'll go with the Methodists. And if I want to be told loudly that I'm going to hell, I'll go to a Baptist church. My point is there are major difference in religions, and I have the choice in what my kids are taught. Not just some random luck of the draw who her teacher happens to be and believe.

yes. I am still a little pissed about it.

No one else has the right to make this decision for us. They are our kids. Period. End of story. Whether anyone else believes we are "doing the right thing" or not is irrelevant. And yes, I think that the issue of religion itself even faded to irrelevance. It could have been that we were talking to her about our concerns that Ally was picking her nose (constantly. Ally get your finger out of your nose!) and I would be just as pissed with the way we were treated.

Someone commented to me that there will be many times in their lives that other people will try to teach them things that I don't agree with. "Just wait til they get to public school" and see the crap you have to deal with. I understand that there are times that my children will be exposed to differing opinions. I understand that there will be times I can't change things. I understand that most people don't agree with me on a lot of things. I also understand that it's my job as a parent to recognize that there ARE times when a line is crossed and not to take it lying down. Some people believe that Jesus gives you strength to make it through your day. I believe that you make your own strength. And there are things you can do to change the things that are wrong.

In this case. we left. We had to wait until Anya turned 2 to be accepted into the new daycare. In the intervening months, Ally got more and more bible lessons. She came home singing "Jesus loves me" and told me that God is the strongest person ever, and argued with Rob when he said he didn't believe in Jesus. It's like they ramped up the brain-washing just to piss us off. Which only reinforced our decision to leave. And I think we found a good place. It's affiliated with the college. They have a student-driven learning, which basically means that they have a bunch of stations set up and the kids choose what they want to do. In practice, it means that both kids come home covered in (washable, thank God (hahaha))markers every day. It's a small center, and the kids get to see each other often throughout the day. They started Monday, and seem to be settling in just fine. I only hope that this is our last day care switch. I'm getting tired of this.

Ok, so if you're still here, I'll reward you with a little picture. Yesterday when we went to pick the kids up, Ally was riding Anya around the sidewalks on the playground. I love this bike! too cute. (And it's the first time Anya has ever let me put ponytails in!)

Dammit!

I wrote a post yesterday about the day care situation, but I wrote it in Notepad, and copied it, but forgot to put it in a post and didn't save it, so it's gone. it was long and rambly, and I don't know if I want to write it again. that was really stupid of me.