Life, the Universe, and Everything

Sarcasm is lost on 4 year ods

On the way to the day care yesterday, the kids asked me to turn on their (highly annoying) kids music. It's only 10 minutes, so I did. The first song on the dvd is Twinkle, twinkle little star. But since they had listened to the beginning the other day, Anya asked me to skip it and go further into the dvd. So I did. At which point Ally started squaking. "I wanted to listen to Twinkle twinkle..." I told her we were listening to another song and to wait, and she turned to Anya to complain.

"Thanks for making Mom skip that song, An---ya" She's been working on her sarcasm, and it was dripping. She had the voice down pat.

But Anya hasn't mastered sarcasm yet. Her response:

A bright and sunny, "You're welcome, Ally"

In a couple years, she'll probably say the exact same words, but they'll mean a whole different thing

Music Appreciation

The other day on the way to drop the kids off at day care, Teenage Wasteland came on the radio. I turned it up and told Ally how much she loved this song when she was younger. She listened a little, turned her head to the side and asked me if it was on Seasame Street. Um, I don't think so.

And Rob's been turning on Creedence on the way home for them. Ally and Anya love Proud Mary. They call it the Rollin' song. (He told them it was my dad's favorite song. Which I'm not sure is true, but when I asked him what song we should dance to at the wedding, Proud Mary was his suggestion.) I was with them the other day when Anya listened to Have You Ever Seen the Rain? for the first time. Every time the question came around, Anya sang back "Yes, I have" I think it's her new favorite song. She specifically asked for it on the way somewhere the other day. I love it.

**Yes I linked to my old blog 2 days in a row. No ulterior motives. Just coincidence

I could tell you about lot of things, but farts are funnier

 Tons of things have been going on, and I just haven't written.

I could tell you about Ally's last day of school

Or about Anya's first real dance recital

Or about Ally's second lost tooth

Or about the kids getting to shoot roman candles on 4th of July.

 

Or about the silly band obsession, or the rearranging of ALL the toys in the house, or the thousands of other things that have been going on.

But instead, I am going to remind you of this. Because it was freaking hilarious when it happened, and I had almost forgotten all about it. Someone said something that jogged my memory the other day, and because I've kept a blog, I was able to look it up and remind myself. And laugh my ass off all over again.

The Three Nanny Goats Gruff

Ally performed in her first school play yesterday. Because I taped the entire class, and I don't ask permission to show the entire world, I password protected the video. But I'll let you watch it if you want. I know you do. It's here. Ask for the password, and I'll email it to you. It'll be easy to pick out Ally. She's the only one standing up waving like a madman at me and her dad and whispering (loudly) "Where's Anya?" at the beginning. Anya was sitting on Rob's lap watching. The video is long, but very cute. I was proud of Ally, my little rabbit child.

It must have made an impression on Anya, because last night, she was singing "Who's that walking on MY bridge" while playing in the bath. She went through the whole play using Little Einsteins figures for the goats. and a mermaid. and whatever was in the bath with her, I guess. She's got a pretty good imagination.

You'll shoot your eye out

Anya doesn't suck her thumb anymore (unless it's in the middle of the night, when no one (including her) is awake to see it or notice. Or maybe at day care. I'm not there to know). When she gets upset, she will put some fingers in her mouth, but for the most part, that behavior has been eliminated. But you know what they say about addicts replacing their habits?

Me neither, but it's something having to do with replacing one addiction with another.

Anya started twirling her hair instead. Like so. It leaves cute little curls on the sides and I kinda liked it. But it also tangled up her hair when the twirling got too intense. We warned her about it and everyday when I brushed her hair I reminded her about the tangles she created. I warned her she'd get her finger stuck. And she didn't believe me.

Will she ever learn?

Sunday night while driving home from Rob's mom's house, she started wailing. She was crying so hard Ally had to tell us why. Her finger was stuck in her hair. The tip was turning purplish and it hurt. We stopped. I couldn't get it loose, so we had to cut a bit off. She was terrified.

I mentioned it to her day care teacher monday morning, so they could remind her of what had happened if she started twirling again.

And Monday afternoon I saw her twirling it.

She'll never learn.

The Curse of the Swaner Ears

April 5th, Anya had a 6 month checkup on her ears with the Nurse practitioner at the ENT office. Everything looked great. The tube is still out of her right ear and still in her left. ($20)

April 7th, she started screaming all night becasue her right ear hurt.  Took her to back to the nurse practitioner who prescibed Augmentin. Augmentin hasn't worked for Anya for a long time. BUT! She also hasn't been on an antibiotic for a long time, so possibly it would reset and magically be effective. Whatever. We had to put drops in her other one, because she thought the tube might be clogged and the drops would help disolve the crap. ($20 + $10)

April 23 she had a followup with the nurse practitioner. Still had an infection in the right. Prescription for Omnicef. Another 10 days of medicine. ($20 + $10)

May 10 she had a followup with the Dr (finally) herself. ($20) Infection is cleared up, but still has fluid. Tube on left is useless. Needs new tubes in both sides. Appointment set for June 18. But what do we do if when she has an infection between now and then? nada. zip. nil. No contingency plan. We have to bring her in again.

Guess what happened last night? Guess what the office wants me to do? Guess how cooperative I was?

Ha.

I'm so pissed off. I called the primary care doc after getting the runaround form the ENT office, and am waiting to hear back. She was seen a week and a half ago. It's obvious what's going on. The history is there. I'm just hoping they are more reasonable, because I can't afford to take more time off work. I'm going to have to go to Prompt Care after hours and get told the same thing I already know, and take that much longer for Anya to start getting rid of the pain, which is just less sleep that either one of is will be getting tonight.

I'm going to scream.

Kindergarten

Warning! This is a long post. Apparently I had a lot to say on the subject. (Who am I kidding?. I have a lot to say about most any subject)

Ally had a hard time adjusting to Kindergarten. Wow - inderstatement. Um, yeah. It didn't go well. She has a hard time keeping her mouth shut when she needs to. Her brain is working so fast that she can't stop herself when she feels like she's discovered something and just has to share it. We worked with her before school started and I saw it coming, but just wasn't able to get through to her. She'd make a connection between something you were saying and something she already knew and HAVE to tell you just how that connection worked. It doesn't translate well to a school setting. Like, if the I would tell Anya that sentences start with capital letters, and the rest of the sentence needs lower case, Ally would pipe up to make sure everyone knew that names could start with upper case too. And places. She doesn't get the fact that people don't always tell everything they know because it may not be a good time to get into all the details. She is usually absolutely right, but now is not the time. And stop interrupting anyway. So, yeah Kindergarten. Not so smooth.

And then on top of that, we had to deal with her emotional fragile-ness. She is way too sensitive. it's hard to play games with her because she takes everything so personally. If she wants to be red, but someone else got there first, she can't let it go and pick something else. It hurts her feelings and she cries. She thinks everything through and has a perfectly logical (to her) reason for everything she does, so if someone doesn't believe her actions are appropriate, she feels the need to defend herself. And that gets her in even more trouble.

There's a green. yellow, red-light system they use for charting behavior. They throw in parking lot if the kid has screwed up, but it wasn't to grievous. Yellow is with a deliberate rule-breaking, or continued behavior after a warning. Red often goes to the principal. Ally saw the principal at least twice first semester. Once for yelling at the librarian about how she had a book she wanted and someone else took it before she could get there and she didn't want a different one.

It's been really hard to deal with, because I feel like I should have done a better job at preparing her. Which is ridiculous, because I tried. But you know how that parenting guilt goes. And she is so advanced as far as critical thinking and abstract connections and such goes. She can do 2 digit addition and subtraction and even some multiplication. She watches the Discovery channel and absolutely loves science. But life isn't always about what you like. Sometimes it's the drudgery of practicing writing the letter b over and over again. She's a lot like Rob in that she is eager to learn new things, but completely lacking motivation to perfect them. She can write her letters, who cares if they're perfect? She wants to move on to something exciting. And while I completely understand, if she can't turn that around, life is going to much more tough than it needs to be for her.

So instead of the wonderful year of learning that she had been looking forward to, she got a year of behavior police and she doesn't like school. I ask her how her day went and she tells me what color she ended up on. The focus is entirely in the wrong place. And of course, since that was where the focus is at school, we had to reinforce it at home, or the yellow and red lights would continue to have no impact on her. So we set up a reward system. Green light let her get a treat and choose hot or cold lunch. Parking lot was still a choice, but no treat. Yellow was to her bed until supper. Red was in bed the entire night except supper.

And then I had a flash of genius got desperate. I told her she could have a sleepover if she could stay the entire week on green. And a couple weeks months later, she did it! And then again. And now she's on her 16th straight green day. So she had a sleepover with an old day care friend. And last weekend, she had a friend come over, but she got too scared and had to go home. Ally was crushed in the morning, but there wasn't a chance in hell that I could wake her up. I wasn't even going to try, but Rob insisted, and after 5 minutes of talking to her with the lights on, I gave up. When she sleeps, she sleeps hard.

Honestly, though I don't think it had anything to do with the sleepover incentive. They just recently finished up with a couple rounds of the alphabet at school. Now they're still writing, but they have a heavier focus on math. She's coming home with math problems, and talking about helping others with their math. I think she's finally engaged. And it sucks that it's taken this long. We've also been working with her a lot and the poor kid is finally learning that not everyone thinks she's wonderful and how to deal with it. She's grown up a lot these past months, and as much as I see that it was necesary, and as hard as I've worked for it, and as proud of I am for her hard work and accomplishments, it makes me sad too.

I wish she could just keep a little of that innocence and belief that the world is a good place a little longer before having to grow up and face the truth. I miss my baby.

It's green, and it grows, and needs sunight and water, but I'm not telling what it is

Once upon a time, my sister got my mom a present. Stupidly, I was let in on the secret. But I did NOT tell Mom she got her a plant.

I went to the mall Thursday for a lia sophia display event. (It was awesome. Got lots of parties booked) The next morning, the Anya said something about what they got for me. "Oh?" I said, "What did you get me?" She would not tell. So I left it alone. And then she told me it was yellow. And I covered my ears and said "NOOO! Don't tell me more, I don't want to hear about it yet!!" and left the room.

I know a 4 year old can't keep a secret.

She probably doesn't even know what an octopus is

Ally and Anya went to a birthday party at the zoo last weekend. It was for a 5 year old who lives in our neighborhood, and whose sister is in Ally's class. Rob took them while I was busy cooking (ha) for our party and relayed this story to me.

The kids played a game where one person stood in front of the rest while wearing a mask. The other kids had to give the mask wearer clues so she could guess what mask she was wearing. Ally' watches far too many nature shows for this game. The first time she rasied her hand, she had this nugget to share.

"About 20 people every year are killed by sharks"

Rob says the zoo volunteer looked at her strangely, but the kids paid no attention. Later came the crab mask. The clues (red, etc) weren't cutting it. The kids just didn't care about crabs. So Ally felt she had to contribute again. Up went her hand

"It's natural predator is an octopus"

And the zookeeper gave her another strange look. Rob said it was obvious that she was trying to figure out how to respond to that, but failing. Ally noticed the strange looks. She whispered (rather loudly) to Rob "She probably doesn't even know what an octopus is" 

Granted, our zoo is pretty small, but I'm sure the zoo keeper has heard of an octopus before :)

Strangely enough, I had played a similar game with Anya only about a week before and it was so hilarious it made me cry. Maybe I'll get to writing it down someday too.

Four years. 1,461 days. 35,064 hours. 2,103,840 minutes. Forever

Anya turned 4 last Sunday.

Wow.

Anya is 4.

How the hell did that happen?

I know, I know. Cliche and all, but really! How did that happen? I keep meaning to write about it, but I don't do well with the "recap-the-event" type posts. I never manage to capture the essence of the day and it feels all stilted and blah in the retelling. But it was awesome - regardless of my writing.

We threw her a birthday party on Saturday with family and friends. We used to do an annual family get together at our old house sometime in the summer, so we could use the pool. Since we don't have a pool anymore, Anya's birthday has kinda substituted. I love getting the different family groups together. And of course, Anya's friends from day care and the neighborhood were there. In all, I believe there were about 18 kids, and about 22 adults there. It was a madhouse. But in a totally awesome way.

It all started with Ally and Anya headed to the zoo with Rob an hour before the party was scheduled to start. They had gotten invited to another little girl's birthday party the same day. Rob decided he'd take them and just leave early. We actully ended up having kids show up before the birthday girl herself.

My mom said at one point that really I know how to throw a kids birthday party, and yes, I believe I'll bask in the glow of that a bit, because, well... I rock. I served up M&M's, goldfish, PB&J's, Cheetos, fruit and bread with dip. My aunt brought homemade mints (cause I ate all the leftovers from Easter and Anya was pissed at me) for Anya with plenty more for the rest of the group. And I had pizza delivered. Of course, all that was followed by cake and ice cream, with a surprisingly in-tune Happy Birthday serenade.

I rented a bounce house for the kids again this year. It went over great last year, but I was terribly afraid that there'd be rain this year, so had a lot of stress about it, but the rain held off about an hour after everyone left. phew. We blew up tons of balloons to throw in the bounce house.

We got all our outdoor toys out, and just let the kids run around as they pleased. One little girl got on our little powered Jeep and had a blast. She went from barely moving and jerking everytime she hit the gas pedal to doing laps around the yard at top speed. Kids ran up and down the sidewalk on foot and on bikes. A couple kids ran inside and found Anya's stash of babydolls and brought them out for stroller rides.

Anya had an awesome time and a smile on her face the whole day.

 

Of course, she was back to her usual grumpy self the next day for her actual birthday :)

Boobquake!

So I learned this morning that today is Boobquake Day. Apparently some jackass Islamic cleric said that immodestly dressed and promiscuous women lead men astray and that somwhow leads to increased earthquakes.

Huh?

That's so stupid, an Indiana college student called bullshit. She decided invoke science to test his theory. Women: dress immodestly and let's see if there are a higher number of earthquakes than usual! So, in the name of science, I'll join the cause.

Did the earth move for you?

Chaos

I'm establishing a new practice to help those in my position** in the future:

For every child's birthday present I buy, I will write the gift on the card, so parents can match up names to toys for thank you cards later.

Who wants to join me?

**My position being: I'm an idiot because I've been in this situation before, and still neglected to have someone writing stuff down for me (cause I was taking pictures, of course).

Always leave them hangin -- that's my motto

So...
Rob is a nurse. working as a tax collector.
Ally lost a tooth.
Rob and I roofed our house.
I dyed my hair red.
We got Anya her own bunk beds.
We found a home for Audrey, but still have the 2 black labs.
Anya's going to have a dance recital June 12th.
Ally's going to preform a play with her class May 18th.
Ally has a good chance of making it all through this week on green. I wonder how today is going. Week on green = sleepover.
Anya's birthday party is tomorrow. Her birthday is Sunday. 4 years. How did this happen?
It's the end of April already. How did this happen?

I think that catches us up.

Yeah, I know. But it'll have to do.

Pictures

New Penney's pictures up. Check the links over there <---.

OK. fine. you're lazy. here.

A common concern

Anya: But I don't want to have any babies

Me: Babies are so much fun when they grow up a little and say funny tings like you.

Anya: But Mom, what if they don't fit through my private spot?

Puppy poop

That said, here's a real post...

We have to get rid of some puppies. Remember how easy it was last time? It's nowhere near that easy this time. We've had the puppies for almost a year now and Audrey for 2. We got them when they were little puppies and now they're grown (a lot!). They have personalities.

Stinky is a tasmanian devil. He runs around like crazy and is dumb as a post, but he's so lovable. He just about shakes himself apart everytime you go out to see them. He nearly trips over his own feet, he's so happy to see you. He rarely remembers to sit until you push his butt down, and can hardly stay there once you do. He's too excited. He plays with the other dogs and hides in holes in the ground only to leap out and surprise another dog. (Well not so much anymore) Dirty lays down for belly rubs, and Stinky remembers how much he likes them and steps all over her to get his belly rubbed too, but wants so much to lick you that he can't lay still. He follows Audrey around like she's his hero and wouldn't leave her side after she got back form surgery. He's a spaz but that's not all bad. And he's Anya's dog.

Dirty is a thinker and a climber. She climbs to the top of the kids' slide and when she wants down, she slides on her front legs and her butt. She knows when she or another dog is doing soemthing they shouldn't. That doesn't stop her, but she wanders around til she can find a stick or something to put in her mouth. "What me? I wasn't barking. I was just chewing on this stick here." She climbed to the top of our patio table to lay down on it (and eat the umbrella, but let's not talk about that). She's calmer than Stinky, and we didn't get her fixed, because I thought it'd be neat to maybe breed her and let the kids be a part of watching puppies being born and playing with them afterward until they get adopted out. Ally picked her out and hangs all over her and she doesn't mind.

Rob picked Audrey out. She is a sweet, sweet dog. She's the calmest of all, and we've had her for 2 years now. She's settled down, and isn't the rowdy puppy that Stinky is. She actually never was. She would love to be an indoor dog. She got sent outside when she was chewing things, but could have come back in long ago if we didn't have the puppies outside. She sits and lays down, and hates to get in trouble. It makes her sad. She always looks like she's smiling. She played fetch and loved it (before those stupid puppies started casing her ball. How dare they?) She's awesome with the kids, and doesn't accidentally knock them over near as much as the puppies. She loves peanut butter. She sees us inside and whines at the door wanting to be with us.

And 3 dogs are killing our backyard. The yard stinks, even when it's been cleaned up. The grass isn't coming up. They've created a path through the yard where I'm not sure grass will ever come back. We have to hang the swings over the top of the swingset, so they won't get bored and chew them up (again). We can't send the kids out to play in the sandbox, because 3 dogs is too many to fend off when they want attention. They can't run through the yard, because 3 dogs will chase them happily and accidentally knock them over and/or step on them. 3 dogs poop too much. Our backyard is not ours anymore. It's the dogs'. Why was a backyard a requirement for buying a house, if we can't use it? We can't keep up with 3 dogs. We can't train 1 puppy when they other one is jumping on you (actually, they don't jump on us. They did get that training). You say "Sit Dirty" and when you try to show her by pushing her butt down, Stinky licks you in the face. Then Audrey gets jealous and sticks her nose in your ear. 3 is just too hard.

They're all good dogs, though, and we let the kids pick them out. So we've talked about it with them and they both agree that Stinky is the least trained, so they're not so attached to him. He's not as easy to hug. And Audrey is such a good dog, but they like Dirty the best. It's hard for Rob, but I think we've going to keep Dirty and find a home for the other 2. It's so hard this time. I don't like it. But I want my yard back. One dog, we can handle. And as much as I like Audrey, without the puppies around, I know she'd beg to be let in constnatly. She wants to be around people. If we keep Dirty, maybe we can still do the puppy thing someday. Can you tell I'm justifying this to myself?

 

Know anyone who wants a good dog or two?

Technical difficulties

It's getting harder to blog. My schedule is getting busier and busier, work is monitoring internet usage, so I stay off during the day. Since Ally started school, I have to work later, and thus come home later. I have at most 2.5 hours with the kids in the evening, and, god, it's not enough. I constantly feel like I'm shorting them in one way or another. They only get a bath every other day or so, because it's just not how I want to spend the time with them. We have dish now, and I feel guilty becasue Ally loves those nature shows, they're educational, that's one of the reasons why we got the dish in the first place, but she never has time to watch them. Supper takes forever, and it's getting nicer out, and there just always seems like there's too much to do. I want them to have friends to play with and play with the dogs and have time in the sandbox (my god, Ally used to love the sandbox! We could sit her in it for hours and sit on the deck soaking up the sun), and instead, she's sitting at after-care waiting for someone to come and get her (and playing on the playground, granted, but she's not at home) and Anya's at day care (also on the playground). They're getting fresh air and having time to play, but I'm missing it. And then we get home and I'm missing it anyway, because they're playing make-believe games on their own while I'm trying to sort and folr, and put away the 5 loads of laundry I managed (or Rob) to get washed, but is sitting in a pile in my room collecting cat hair until I manage to get something done iwth it.

So I give this up, and I think about how it will help free up some time, but then I hear Mom laughing because Ally is gullible and she knows that because I wrote about it. And I thnk about why I started this blog in the first place. I wanted to connect with my family. I wanted to have a closer tie to them than I did before. I wanted share the love I have for my kdis and the fun things they do. To celebrate my life. And then it turned into something more. I got to thinking about my relationship with my parents, and how I just took them for granted most of my life and never even considered them as people. I never considered the impact I was having on them. I want to make a note of the person I am, and the person I'm becoming because after having kids, and raising them day-to-day: the person I am is changing. I want to have something to remind me because you can't capture a moment later. If you don't do it now, it's gone, changed by the impressions future events leave and remembered imperfectly. I wanted to capture a snapshot of time, since you can't take pictures of feelings and conversations. And I don't want to give up writing.

But it gets harder. Kids get so much more complicated as they grow. It's no simple task to relate an encounter anymore. They get complicated and can actually have a conversation with you. There haven't been Conversations from a Car for so long, because those conversations are actually conversations. Not just little one-liners tidbits that I can jot down and move on. Half the time I forget what I wanted to blog about before I get a chance anyway.

And those things that are really seriously on my mind? Are too hard. How can I deal with the feelings of failure that come when one daughter can't manage to get her teeth brushed in less than 10 minutes? When I find myself yelling at her constantly, because it's the only way she'll hear me? And I wonder how much of it's my fault because I spent too much time doing things for her instead of giving her any responsibilities of her own. I wonder how I could have done things differently so that she could have some idea of authority and respect for older people. But I don't have respect myself for adults, just because they're adults. They still might be idiots. But the point is that she is 6 and not allowed to call them on it. How do you teach a 6 year old that and not reek of hypocrisy? So she gets in trouble and it's my fault.

How do you deal with the fact that there's something medically wrong with your 3 year old and you have no idea what it is? You stand by helplessly and listen to a bunch of crackpots and nurse practitioners (same things, right?) throw random theories at you and have to sort through to guess which one might be right? Which course of action might not affect her development negatively as a side affect? Decide whether the side effects of one medicine might be worse than the falling down itself? Give your daughter a pill twice a day and not break down every single time she takes it happily and thanks me for giving it to her in a spoon full of applesauce instead of making her try to swallow it without (Tip: if you have to convince a kid to take a pill, give it to them once and let them chew it up. They'll be thankful for not having to taste it forever after) one and not know if you've made the right decision. And then when she stops falling down, you cry because the pills treat a genetic mutation that is dominant and if the pill is working that means that this may never go away, and she and her children will have to deal with this forever. How do you deal with desperately hoping that the solution you've been dying for doesn't work?

Me? I deal with it by not writing. But it's not fair. This is me too. This is who I am today, and if I'm writing this blog as a record of who I am today, it's cheating to skip this stuff. This is just as much me as any of the rest of it, and I should keep a record of it too. But it's hard.

I'm not promising more updates. But I'm not quitting. That's something, right?

Surprisingy enough, the fun fair was actually, well... fun

Yesterday, was Ally's school's (Actually I think both elementary, and the intermediate school pitched in) fun fair. This was a first for us, so we had no idea what to expect. We'd been to the open house a couple of weeks ago, though and it was a madhouse. Wow. So I was prepared for craziness. In fact, I'd kinda planned on it.

I had volunteered to help set up. It was that or work the games during the fair. I figured that setting up would be less hectic and I wanted to be able to go with the kids to the fair. So Friday night I left work early and went to the school. I got put no cotton candy duty. Have you ever made cotton candy? I hadn't. It turns out that it's a gigantic mess. Go figure. I mean who would have thought that adding floss sugar to a little jar with holes in it and then spinning it around to fling the stuff everywhere making a fine web of sugary goodness would be messy? And then of course comes the good part. You have to stick your arm into the machine to twirl it up into a ball. We came away looking like we'd been extras in Arachnaphobia. And when you first start up the machine, it lets fly these fine little tendrils that escape the enclosure that's supposed to hold it all in and they go flying around the room everywhere. Of course the kddis helping out were thrilled. They were running around the room with their tongues hanging out staring up at pieces coming down and running into each other trying to be the first one there to catch it. Can you say sugar high? Anyway, we made around 350 bags of it.

To the fun fair...

It was set up all over the school. I was told that this was the first year they had done it that way, and I am sooo glad I wasn't there the other years. In the library, they had a magician (more on that later). In the hallway outside the library they had face painting. In the cafeteria, they had cotton candy, popcorn, pizza, slushies, nachos, chips, and a bake sale. in the hallway outside the office, they had tables (lots of tables) of silent auction stuff. Then there were more tables of raffle items that had been donated, too. In the gym they had a generic skeeball game, a baseball toss game, a beabag toss game, a putt-putt game, a plinko game, a balloon dart game, grand prize game game (Did anyone else watch that every morning religiously like me? I think it was on at 7:17 every weekday. I was so sure that I could have won that bike and $100 bill), and a big inflatable slide and inflatable obstacle course and probably more. Tickets were 4 for $1, and most games were 2 tickets. The inflatables were 1. Not too bad for a fair. Outside the gym, there were younger type games for 1 ticket. Outisde the Kindergarten rooms, there was a book fair set up. And just past it was a cake walk. I can't even imagine trying to shove all that in the cafeteria. I'm assuming it expanded quite a bit this year.

So the first thing we did was head to the magician. We got there about 10 minutes before his first show. Wait, that's not true. The first thing we did (meaning me) was to use the fun fair shamelessly to giad the children into cleaning their rooms. Ally even volunteered to vaccuum for me. God how I love extortion.

So anyway the magician. He was mostly a juggler but the kids loved him. He picked volunteers by haivng the kids make faces. He picked the funniest. Ally got the first one. She was all over that. So he got her in fornt of everybody and asked her name. he was shocked. That was his favorite girl name becuase it was his mother's name. He asked where she lived. Springfield? Oh my goodness. THAT was his father's name. Ha ha. Everybody had a good laugh, but Ally thought it was true. 6 year olds can be quite gulilble. He gave her a little foam ball and made her hold it tight in her hand. Then he took another one and made it invisible (Do you see the ball right here in my hand? No. oh, that's because I dropped it. How about now? no. why not? because it's invisible) Then he made it appear in her hand with the other one. She was delighted.

Luckily the kdis don't like face painting, so we didn't have to stand in line for that. We went for lunch. Ally discovered she had a loose tooth. And then all of a sudden, we had been there for an hour and not played a single game. So off to the gym we went. Anya doesn't like the fancy bounce things. She only likes the plain old flat ones you can run around in. So I gave Ally tickets and off she went. Anya and I played games. I doled out the tickets for Ally 3 or 4 at a time, so she had to keep coming back. She only managed to loose her shoes twice. I think she would have been thrilled just to play on the inflatables all day. Anya was a different story. She wanted to play those games and collect prize tickets. She had no idea what the prizes were, but they were PRIZES. I think that's all that matters. After all, that's the principle that keeps Chuck-E-Cheese in businesss, right?

After Anya had done a bunch of games and Ally had done a few and told everyone she knew and a few people she didn't about her loose tooth, we headed down the hall for more games. And then they discovered the cake walk. Except it was a bake walk, becuase there were no cakes. Just brownies and cookies and such. The kids were determined to win. They wasted their last tickets trying to get cookies, which was crazy because I had already promised them some of the cotton candy I had slaved over, but whatever. I got to sit down. And on the last try, one of Ally's friends won a plate of iced sugar cookies. And shared them. So all was well with the world.

We had only to redeem the prize tickets (For some crappy little eater egg shaped ball things that Anya loves, and a little book for Ally to read) and get our cotton candy and head out. Ally has figured out the eat-yours-quick-and-maybe-someone-will-share-theirs-with-you theory, and her cotton candy disappeared. Anya still has some left. And she'll probably share it with Ally.

But the best thing about the whole day is that there was no whining. The kdis were on their best behavior and weren't running away, and it wasn't nearly as crowded as I thought it was going to be (although it WAS crowded). And we just had a good time. It was awesome.

Guess who has a loose tooth

 
 

Superpowers

The kids are in the closet. They are discussing how they can annoy each other, apparently.

Ally has a magic wand and waves it and says, "I'm going to give myself wings so I can fly away and you can't." Anya says, "Well, these are my clapping shoes and they will take away your wings if I clap them together" Then she clicked her heels together three times.

They aren't ruby red though.

No progress

The lady who wanted to start the HOA in our neighbrhood set a meeting for March 3. She didn't notify everyone on the neighborhood. Not even close. When we found out, we set up our meeting last week. There are a lot of people angry about it. There are a lot of people vehemently opposed. So we talked and at the meeting, it was decided that we would let everyone in the neighborhood know that she'd called the meeting and please go to it and express your opinion. Everyone in the neighborhood. Full disclosure - like she should have done in the first place. Someone volunteered to make flyers and other volunteer stuck them on doors yesterday. At least 200 of the 271 lots in the neighborhhod got one. 2 of our volunteers didn't get them out yesterday and were planning on it today.

We got an email this morning that the meeting has been postponed. Not canceled. No reason given. And the email was forwarded to us from a neighbor. Not sent from the original planner herself. Because apparently, we have fallen off her email list for some reason.

I'm thinking she's going to get together a small group of people and start it on the sly. Once it's started, eventually, if membership gorws, it will reach a majority. At which point, they'll decide "it's not fair" that they have to pay and the rest of us don't and they'll make it mandatory. This is what we're trying to stop. But at this point, we're at a loss as to how to do it.

Rabble Rabble Rabble*

A government big enough to give you everything you want, is strong enough to take everything you have." — Thomas Jefferson

Anyone who knows me in real life knows that I am not, uh, shall we say... lacking of opinions. I often have an opinion. And if I know you, I usually feel free to share it. Um. Loudly.

We live in a subdivision without a Homeowner's Association(HOA). I like that fact. I was quit pissed off when, in our old neighborhood (with a HOA), a few busybodies made it their business to tell the rest of the neighborhood what they could and couldn't do with their house (their own property).

So you can only see where I'm going when I say that there's a small group of people lobbying for starting a HOA in our new neighborhood.

HELL NO.

HOA's can vote themselves in all kind of rights in the form of by-laws. Then they can determine that you've violated those by-laws and assess fines. Luckily in Illinois, they can only go so far as to fine you and lien your house, unlike the less unfortunate states where they can actually foreclose on homeowners who don't play the game. So Rob and I have found ourselves in the unlikely position of organizing the neighborhood. Which is basically what we're against in the first place. Ironic, huh?

I don't understand how people think that the "someone has to take care of it" theory actually works out. They actually believe that someone will be able to make the decisions and everything will just work out fine. What happens when that very same someone decides you're in violation? If people would just take care of their own crap, someone wouldn't be needed. I'm not going to just sit here and let someone run my life for me. Take responsibility people!

So now, we've got to be nice and try not to step on anyone's toes while still assuring that the rights to our property remain ours. What a pain in the ass.

**http://www.southparkstudios.com/clips/153618

Rolling

We took the kids roller skating on Monday. I've been wanting to take them for a long time, but I just couldn't figure out how to manage it. I can't teach 2 kids to skate at the same time. And it's not something Rob really is good at. He doesn't have a lot of patience. So I needed help. Monday was a holiday, so we headed over to the skating rink where Naomi and Marisa were skating to enlist the help I needed. Rob came with us mostly for moral support.

We walked into the rink and I was shocked by all the memories that came back. We didn't skate a lot as kids, but we did come to town for it sometimes. Plus, they had evenings for the local schools where they donated half their profits as a fundraiser, so we went to those every month or so. I had completely forgotten how much I enjoyed that as a kid. It was a simpler time in my life. I had a lot of good times at that place. In contrast, Rob had never been skating. I couldn't believe that was possible.

So anyway, we got the kids skates and laced them up. They stood up and promptly fell on their asses. Naomi and Marisa were a big help. After about 2 hours, both kids could manage (for short periods) to stand up and even move around on their own. Even on the rink. Of course, they liked the carpeted area better, because it was easier.

Ally gained some confidence, and Anya took to it really well. Maybe becasue she's younger and has less fear of hurting herself? We all had a good time, and Rob even got a pair of skates and helped me after a while. It didn't take him long to pick it up, and we had a great time. I hope it's soemthing the kids will enjoy enough to continue doing occassionally.

Resolution

We're going to St Louis Children's hospital today. We have an appointment there with a pediatric neurologist. Anya hasn't fallen since Thanksgiving. She's taken no medication, not changed her diet, done nothing measurabley different, and yet, the falling down stopped. It's cyclical. And we still don't have an answeer. And it's is just possible she's started again. If so, it would be great timing, but I really want it to stop. Ha. That's the biggest unnderstatment ever. She fell once last night and for the past couple of days she has looked a little wobbly, off and on.We don't know if we're being paranoid, and she just fell, or if this is the beginning of another cycle.

I hate this. But just maybe we'll talk to someone who can help today

New toys

Look, Look!

 

Look what we got. You know the nice thing about being in debt up to your eyeballs? One more thing doesn't make a whole lot of difference overall. (Plus, we're working on the debt thing. I'm making money selling lia sophia, and Rob's making a paycheck now. I love working fo the state. He took a year off, and came back to work making $4000 a year more than when he left. And gets a promotion in July. So - no lectures necesary.)

Anyway, now we have to get cable. You should have seen the look on the best buy guy's face when they came to deliver it and we told him we didn't have cable. It was quite funny.

Confidence in her sister

I buckled Ally in the car while asking her about her day. She was bursting with excitement when she told that everyone in her class stayed on GREEN! all day! Just as I was about to congratulate her, Anya interrupted.

"Even you?"

I call time-out

Bleh. drove to Robinson and back yesterday for a very long day. It was fun and totally worth it for the lia sophia show I went for, but long drive (2.5 to 3 hours one way). And then today, we had to rush around after work to get both kids, buy a present (nothing like waiting til the last minute), and make it in time for a birthday party - at Chuck-E-Cheese (Do they have those in Austrailia, Carolyn?). Need to relax. Can't find a coherent thought. zzzz...

Snow days

Ally was supposed to start school again on Thursday. Didn't happen. I stayed home with her, and didn't take Anya to day care either. The kids played and had a good ol time doing nothing in particular. I read a book. We were sloth-like for a good protion of the day. I kept thinking that I should do something, but couldn't muster the motivation. I didn't even play much with the kids. They have finally reached the age were the playing together exceeds the fighting it causes. I've been told this only lasts a few years before it starts up again. But for now, I'm enjoying it. (You know what their current favorite toy is? A box. 2 in fact. We bought this ottoman thing for storing all our guitar hero stuff, and the box it came ni has been even more fun than anything we bought them for Christmas. They want to nap in the damn thing. And then they've still got the box from the dog feeder thing we bought in November.)

But I was still ready to go back to work Friday. And it was not to be. It didn't even snow Thursday night. I guess the temp was still bad. I don't know. I'm not used to this. Day cares don't generally have snow days. There is no bus route to worry about.  So I did what any sane person would do. I waited until a decent hour and called my babysitter and put her on retainer. The next time a snow day is imminent, she's going to call me and see if I need her.Did I mention that she lives across the street and 3 houses down? It's awesome.

Wouldn't you know it , though? The weather is too cold for the snow to be useful for snowmen or anything. I hate Illinois. Last year, we didn't get to make a single snowman (I think) I hope this year will be different

They can parrot it back, but they're still not getting it

Anya overheard My step-dad ask someone what she wanted Santa to bring her. And, of course, she had to put her 2 cents in. "You don't ask for what you want, you open it and you say thank you anyway." It's a variation on "you get what you get and you don't throw a fit" And yet? I still had to remind her to tell everyone thank you.

I walked into the bathroom to ask Ally what was taking so long, and before I could ask, I took a breath. And then I knew. That kid can stink up a room! When I mentioned it, she commented about how she probably shouldn't eat her boogers then, huh? And yet? I had to tell her to get her fingers out of her nose 3 times tonight.

When are they goning to go from knowing it to doing it? Arg!

On a Roll

See this? See how I'm posting every day?

I rock, right?

I heard from all of you when I couldn't manage it. "I think it's time for a new post, Katie," but where are you now, huh?

Huh?

Oh. You never bother to check anymore, since I haven't posted for a couple months.

Right.

uh, nevermind.

Jewelry

I'm not sure if I mentioned it, but I'm now a lia sophia Independent Advisor. Fancy, huh? I love the jewelry they have in the catalogs, and holy heel, I couldn't buy everything I wanted, so I had a party and got a bunch free. And then my high-school friend advisor, told me she was didn't have time to do it anymore, and I could buy her out and get all of her  display jewelry and I was like, Hell yeah. There are some pretty things there. So now, I'm making some extra money at it, and it's really cool. I get to get out of the house and talk to adult women. I'm pushing myself into being more out-going, which has always been a problem for me. Plus I get to make money. So hey, win-win. If you're interested, I can sign you up too, and we can make money together. I'll reimburse your start-up costs even.

But really I started this post to talk about Ally. And her almost favorite Christmas present. Marley got her a necklace from Claire's. It's an initial A with pink stones set in it, and she loves it! I've never really let her wear jewelry, but I have no idea why. Oh, wait. I remember. I gave her an anklet this summer, and it took about 5 hours before she had managed to break it. Luckily it was a piece of crap I was going to throw away when I found it buried in the bottom of my jewelry box.

Anyway...

She's been wearing the thing constantly since Dec 19. And it's still going strong. Rob made her take it off before bed the other night, becasue he was worried she'd choke or something. whatever. The next day, she came to me asking to put it back on, and I laughed and said I had forgotten. But she didn't forget. You know why? "My neck feels naked without it." With barely any prompting, she sat down to write a thank you note (in the mail soon-ish). That's how much she loves this necklace.

And when Ruth asked me for ideas for Christmas, it was kind of an after thought. Sometimes you get lucky.

And on it goes...

Anya: The lion thought he was a mean lion, and he was acting like a dog and making dog noises, because he went woff and gwough, but he was weawwy a nice lion, but he didn't have any cawwaige

Ally: Because Because Becuase because BECAAAAAAAUUUUSE

Anya: I do believe in spooks, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do. And then someone pulled the scarecrow apart and his leg was over there and his arm was over there, and his stomach was all over the place, and they had to put him back together so they could go to the witch's castle and save Dorofy.

Ally: NO, Anya! it's follow the yellow brick road, not red road!

Anya: But I don't know the names of those bad witches. Glinda was the good witch. (They just called them the wiked witch of the west and the wiked witch of the east. I don't think they had names - KT) No, those were their names. The wicked with of the est and the wicked witch of the weast.

Ally: Just a spoonful of sugar helps the medicine go down...

Oh wait. That's the movie I got her for Christmas. Who knew introducing your kids to your childhood movies would be so much fun?

What's next?  Money, Money, Money by the pound! Who knows that one? mom-you stay out of this

Party food

I had a Christmas party last month, and served some of my favorite appetizers. People asked for the recipe, so I thought I'd post it where everyone can see it. Hi all!

Sausage Stars
1 lb sausage
3 cups shredded co-jack cheese
1 cup Ranch dressing
wonton wrappers

Pre-heat oven to 350.

Filling - Cook and drain sausage. Mix with cheese and ranch.

Wonton cups - Grease mini-muffin pans. Press won tons into pans, being careful not to poke holes in them. Cook wontons about 5 minutes or until light brown. Fill with sausage mix and cook for another 5 minutes. Serve hot.

The hardest part of this recipe is finding the wonton wrappers. They're in the refrigerated produce section, usually around the organic stuff.

Bacon Wrapped Weinies

This isn't my recipe, so uh... get it here

The aftermath

Christmasis finally over here. Yesterady we opened our last round of presents with Rob's dad and step-mom. When both sets of parents are divorced and remarried, Christmas takes more than just a day (or two). I started cleaning up the Christmas decorations Friday, and all that is left is to arrange the totes in the basement where they go and vaccuum the floor.

I'm kind of sad.

This year, I really had the motivation to decorate for some reason. In years past, I always put up a tree, but never really went all out. last year, we got started. 2007 was our final year in our old house. At Christmastime, the house was for sale. We knew we were going to move to a nicer, bigger neighborhood... somewhere, so we hit the after-Christmas sales hard. We bought all kidns of stuff. And did it again last year. So this year, the front of the house was lit up well. According to the kids "Santa [was] sure to visit our house first, because it was so beautiful"

I put a bow on the front door; we had our huge tree lit decorated with a mix of Hallmark and homemade; we had a little tree in the front enteryway (next to the Santa countdown) full of stuffed animals, the archways between rooms were lit up; garland was hung; Rob even got into the spirit and hung the arch lights in the window above the stairway (which required the use of a ladder and 3 extension cords); Rudolf got rewired (so he works); we even had a tree filled with the salt-dough ornaments we made last year. Our house was so Christmas-y that Santa and Mrs Claus even came over to rock out with us.

   

So I'm sad to see Christmas go.

But not the year. I'm really looking forward to this new year. Things have been rough for us in 2009. School kicked all our butts. Rob's and Ally's. Ally has been to see the principal 3 or 4 times already. More about that later, I'm sure. But Rob is finished! He has a degree in nursing, and will take the NCLEX in the near future. He's back at work, and we have our breaks and lunches together again. I would have never believed what a difference that makes. We get all the little detail crap out of the way without the kids interupting and the evenings go smoother. We get some time to talk to each other as adults. As much as I love it, I'm still hoping it will be short-lived. Because he'll be a nurse! And hopefully that means a new job is coming our way with more money to start paying off everything we bought in the last year.

I'm not saying 2009 was all bad, but I'm really looking forward to... moving forward.

Merry Christmas everyone

 

I lied

Crap. i can't be back. My dogs ate the internet again. And I'm not supposed to get on at work, so, um... I'll see you shortly after I see the cable guy.

I'll get you my pretty...

Ally got The WIzard of Oz for her birthday. We watched it earlier this week. Ally watched with a blanket at the ready to throw over her head in case there were any scary parts. It was used once or twice. Anya started crying soundlessly when the witch told the monkey to throw Toto into a lake and drown him. Her face just crumpled. Bravely, they watched til the end. And then they told us how mean that witch was. Last night, for the first time (they wouldn't have understood the reference before) I grabbed their hands on the way into a restaurant and started singing "We're off to see the wizard..." They loved it and haven't started talking about the movie since. Anya's favorite parts are when the witches got killed. Ally's favorite was when the friends stole the guards clothes to trick them and sneak into the castle. And so on and so forth.

About an hour ago, they came to me together and asked to watch it again. Of course I said yes. Excited, they ran to the living room and waited for it to start. But they sat together. With a blanket. Just in case...

P.S. I think I'm back

Rally

I just got a phone call from my husband. This new health care bill is coming up for a vote on Friday. There's a rally Thursday night. I have no idea how, but he wants to get there. I truly believe that this health care plan will FUCK up life as we know it. It scares me. When we took Anya to a pediatric neurologist, it took 1 day to get an apopintment. Less than. Our pediatrician made the apointment for us in the afternoon, and we walked into the office at 9:00 the night morning. I can't imagine waiting forever without action just becasue our health care system has been "improved". I believe that I shouldn't be penalized because others are less fortunate than me. I made me own way. I am responsible for where I am today. And the governemnt is trying to bankrupt private health insurance companies so that I no longer have a choice. Fuck that.

So if anyone reading this is near Washington DC and would be willing to help, I'd love to have a place to crash Wednesday night. Because whether it's easy or whether it's convenient, I am trying to take responsibility for my rights. I will be at that rally with Rob. Whether it does any good or not, I am not going to sit here and wait for someone else to take care of me. I don't know how we're going to do it, with or without the kids, hotel or crashing on a friend's couch, driving or flying, but if we don't stand up and make ourselves heard, who will?

Logged out

I haven't been on typepad for so long, it forgot me. I had to sign in again. This rarely happens. And I can only feel a little ... well... blah about it.

I feel like I should miss posting. And I do. I am constanty thinking of things to write about, but since I don't want dooced, I just don't have time. Not that I'd have time at work anymore anyway. Switching to a half hour lunch really impacts the day more than you would htink. I feel like I don't have time to do much of anything. Here's why. A typical day of my life:

6:00 alarm goes off

6:14 turn snooze off second time. wake Ally up and tell her to go to the bathroom. take shower

6:30 get out of shower. tell Ally to get out of bathroom. pick kids clothes out.

6:45 fight with Anya because she doesn’t want to get up and get dressed. Tell Ally to change her underwear for 10^th time. get dressed

7:00 feed kids. put contacts in

7:15 out of the driveway to meet bus at the daycare

7:30 put Ally on bus. drop Anya off at daycare. Listen to Anya scream because she wants me to stay and play with her.

8:15 work

12:00 lunch

12:30 work

4:15 off.

4:40 pick Anya up from day care

5:00 pick Ally up from after-care.

5:15 get home and try to make sense of what needs done/put away/washed (Monday – rush to dance. Wednesday – rush to swim lessons)

6:00 throw some food out for the kids

6:45 take food away from kids. They talk too much.

6:50 Wonderful. we have an hour before bedtime. (Crap do they need a bath? half hour)

7:50 vitamins, brush teeth, bathroom, pajamas, story

8:10 yell at kids to stop talking

8:20 get supper for myself

And in order to get enough sleep, I have less than an hour after that for myself. But it's not just for myself. Because Rob and I have to have some time too. And I'm doing lia sophia and some things need done for that too. So, this is the thing that gets pushed to the side. And I constantly think of things that I should be writing down, but for now, it's just not happening. Not that I'm giving up. I'm just not beating myself up for staying away. I'll get back here as much as I can. I still love this. I just have to have time for me too.

Better not leave the door open

At grandma's the other day, we were talking about my mom having lost her (male) dog, Duke. Anya spoke up. "If they lose Grandpa before they find Duke, the family will be all girls!" Better keep an eye no him, Mom.

I think I'll go for a walk now*

I'm just going to type until I run out of time. So, in completely random order:

• We're going to Ally's first Parent Teacher conference today. School has been in session 6 weeks, and I have no idea what to expect from this conference. Ally has come home with yellow light's (You all know that system, right? green means good, red is bad, and yellow is worth sending a note home and the parking lot is "your child was a real brat today, but by the end of the day, she almost redeemed herself") a couple times and parking lot a couple times, and had to go see the principal once. But seeing as how the kid can't manage to sit still on the side of the pool for 5 minutes and wait her turn while the other kids practice at swim lesssons, I'm a little nervous. Hopefully, I'll get on the computer and manage to let you know how it went

• We went to a birthday party the other day. Before the party (ok, about 30 minutes before. I'm a procrastinator) I took the kids to the evil Walmart to pick a present and a card. Both kdis went, so I planned to let them both pick their own present, but then they settled on a $25 game, and I changed my mind. And then, they wanted a singing birthday card. They love those things. Do you know what they cost? insane. And of course, they each picked out a different one. I drew the line. I told them each to hand them to me, flipped them over to check the price and announced Anya the winner. Ally wasn't thrilled. Of course, I used the Mom-line when I was asked why (Because I said so). She wasn't fooled though. "Because you're cheap?" was her response. It's good to see that she knows me so well.

• Anya stopped falling down. After her (normal) MRI, she just sort of regained control of herself slowly. No more falling down. Virus? maybe. We went to her occupational therapy appointment anyway, but apparently, OT is for gross motor issues which she's not having anymore, and they think she needs to be seen by physical therapy, becuase she might be having a little bit of fine motor skill issues. Maybe. And they might be normal, or they might be related. Who the hell knows? not me.

• I'm a lia sophia Advisor now. Anyone want to have a party? You get fantastic deals on jewelry when you host a party; $15 hostess bonus pieces, 1/2 price items, and at least 20% of your party sales in FREE jewelry. And parties are fun. I love having people over and going to parties. I got tons of display jewelry and now I'm going through my closet in the morning trying to find an outfit ot match my jewelry instead of the other way around. I freaking love this stuff. Beautiful.

• I'm still working my ass off at work. Back a couple years ago, I don't think I would have ever believed it.

• We went to Texas this month to visit my dad. Ally Anya and I rode the train there overnight, and Rob had to stay home and get ready for finals the next week. It was a 15.5 hour train ride, but it wasn't really that unpleasant. I brought food, and we went up to the observation car to eat and look around. We watched DVD's at our seats, and the kids played. The only bad part cem when Anya wouldn't go to sleep, but I've dealt with that before, so I dealt with it again, but half hour later, some asshole wouldn't keep his baby shut up. Now, I know that is at times an impossible task, but I really didn't fucking care. Neither of my kids (or I) could sleep. But we were in the sleeping area. There was a car with all the lights on and everything where people weren't trying to sleep. He could have easily gone there to settle the kid down, but instead, we had to listen to it for a couple fucking hours. ARGGG. The ride back was much better.
  
  And the actual Texas part of the trip was pretty nice. The kids don't get to see my dad and his wife very often, so they were pretty happy. We went to Galveston Island to the beach on Saturday. It was 76 and raining, but, by God (heh, that's funny, but you guys don't know why yet), we went in the water anyway. Ally really wanted to make a sand castle, but the sand was so soaked that it was oozing everywhere. But they had a great time, til we turned blue about an hour later. And, then 30 hour after getting dried off, the sun came out. Of course. Dad found a couple hermit crabs in the sand and showed one to Ally. She immediately screamed and lurched backwards so hard, I just about dropped her into the waves. I laughed my ass off. We fed the seagulls off the ferry and in a parking lot. That went over really well. We even got to see dolphins swimming just off the bow of the ferry. And the ferry bathrooms (3 times! ugh.) I even have pictures.
  
  And then we came back to Dad's and that's where things went downhill a little. See, my dad was under the impresssion that we were all going to go to church with him the next day. Most of you know my dad. He can be a little, um, unwavering. So I talked to Leann about it. (We don't go to church. I have a huge problem with churches for reasons I'm not going to go into here. Rob and I have discussed it many times and are in agreement that until they get older, the kids aren't going either. We'll re-evaluate when they are able to use a little logic. And besides, we had enough issues with Ally after the day care fiasco.) And we talked. And talked. We ended up staying up until after 1 am. See, Christians believe that people who haven't "seen the light" need to be convinced. It's that whole "be disciples of God" thing. So Dad and Leann got up the next morning and went to church. The kids and I barely saw them before they left, and they didn't get back until 12:30. That's 5 hours of our trip that was absolutely wasted. With no toys in the house, and I couldn't figure out how to work their TV. We spent over 31 hours on a train to visit them, and they couldn't carve 1 fucking Sunday out of their lives for us! And I had no idea. Dad knows I don't go to church. We've had (very short) conversatiosn about it. He just fucking assumed that it wouldn't hurt me to expose my kids to something that I'm morally opposed to just because I'm at his house for a visit and that's the way he runs his life. So I was disappointed in that. But not just because of it, but because anyone who knows me well, knows my views on the subject. My Dad doesn't even bother to get to know me. And that I'm not enough of a priority to come before church? Well, that's one of the problems I have with the church concept in the first place. I could go on, but I'm not going to. The rest of the visit was stilted and awkward (at least for me - the kids didn't notice, and I worked hard to make sure of that)

• I went to a Greenday concert. It was fucking awesome. I'm not a huge Greenday fan. In fact, the only music I listen to of theirs in on the radio if it happens to be playing. But high school was filled with hours of car rides and Dookie, so when the kids were at my mom's (or maybe at Rob's mom's? I don't remember) a couple months ago, and I was on Facebook, and mylong-lost friend Jennifer posted a message about having an extra ticket for a night when Rob was going to be on night-clinicals, I decided it sounded like a lot of fun. So we went down to St Louis for a concert. keep in mind that my previous concerts have been; The Police, Heart, Cheap Trick, Journey, and John Prine. Greenday, doesn't really fit in there. But the concert was prefect. The crowd was full of energy, the lead singer (Fuck, I forgot his name again... Billy? Billy Joe? something) kept doing neat stuff like pulling people out of the crowd to get on stage. He got a kid on the stage and gave him a super-soaker. He had a stage guy steal some girls camera and then let her up on stage to get it back. He let someone crowd surf (I bet that guy was pissed, because he was like front-row, and they neatly deposited him at the back of the crowd) The songs were great. I really enjoyed myself. And to start it all off, we ate at Houllihan's, which is related to the Darryl's that I worked at in Norfol where they had these cream cheese filled mushrooms that I loved so much, and had completely forgotten about and not had in years, and God, they were tasty.

Out of time. I'll add a couple pictures and links later and hopefully finally update this thing, and maybe even get back in the habit again. (Actually, I typed this yesterday. So much for having time and stuff).

Here, I have pictures now:

*yes, I know. It's been done. But, you know, I'm horribly un-original

You're going to do what?

Ally: Mom, can I have a quarter?
Me: I don't have a quarter, Ally.
Ally: Dad, Can I have a quarter?
Rob: I don't have one either.
Me: What do you need a quarter for?
Ally: I'm going to pay Anya to hold still and let me jump over her.
Me: No you're not. That is not a good idea.
Anya: It's ok Ally, I can get one out of Boris's (the cat) nose. Come here Boris.
Me: What?
Anya: Mo-om. It's just a pretend quarter.

My boobs will never be the same

FYI: When you go target shooting, make sure you wear a high shirt. Cleaveage is not a good thing. That brass ejecting is HOT!

The Illinois State Fair by the Numbers

days in attendance - 7
corn dogs - 5
gyros - 1
turkey legs - 1
pizza slices - 2
free M&M ice cream sadwiches - 8
free M&M "dilly bars" - 8
free M&M drumsticks - 6
ice cream cones - 3
ice cream cups - 3
1/4 watermelon - 1
rib-eye sandwiches - 2
brat - 1
nachos - 1
cotton candy - 1
fresh mini-donuts - 1
hamburgers - 2
lemon shake-ups - 4
amount spent on mega passes - $50
amount rides would have cost without mega passes - $5000
rides Anya rode - 3
times Anya rode them - ~47
rides Ally rode - 33
rides I put Anya on screaming and crying because she didn't want to do it - 1
seconds after she got off that it took her to get on above ride again - 5
(grand)mothers who questioned my choice and were subsequently proven wrong - 2
rides we went on not covered by the mega passes - 3
tickets I found on the ground while at the fair - 12
rides it took me to get dizzy and quit - 2
tickets I gave away - 8
minutes spent watching dock dogs jump into the water on various days - 72
concerts attended - 1 (Heart and the Bangles)
pony rides - 1
petting zoos - 2
hairy cow dangling his digusting tongue out begging for food - 1
days we got rained on - 1
days 'til next year's fair - 346

Wanna see for yourself?

Interruption

Oh. Ooo. Mmm. Yeah. [pant, pant] Ohh. Uh-huh. mmm.

Stop it, Dad.

Dammit.

And not a tear was shed

We haven't done pictures in a while...

Rise and shine Kindergarten girl!

 

The clothes you picked out are waiting for you.

 

Pose on the stairs for me...

 

And by the tree...

 

Let's go quick so we won't be late for your first day.

 

Stop here for just a minute.

 

Let's find your desk.

 

And your teacher.

 

That was a short day, so no bus ride. But Wednesday morning, you got to ride the bus to school.

 

What you didn't know was that I was going to be there when you got off too.

 

Have a good day big girl.

Short

My dog ate the internet again. Fucking dog. And we haven't had time to fix it, so no posting. I'm actually supposed to be working right now. Catch you later.

Anya is falling own less. We're hopeful but stlil running some tests.

Let's laugh at the kids instead of crying over them for a while, shall we?

Ally has a habit of "figuring things out" for herself and then quizzing us on the answers.

Ally: Do you know why Naomi and Marisa live with Grandma?
Me: Yes, do you?
Ally: Their mom died.
Me: not really. Their mom is Aunt Christy. She's not dead.
Ally: Then why do they live with grandma?
Me: Well, their mom doesn't take very good care of them. Grandma does, so they live with her.

later...

Grandma Jan: Ally, do you know why Naomi and Marisa live with me?
Ally: Because their mom doesn't care good care of them?
Grandma Jan: Their mom has made some pretty bad choices. Until she learns to make good choices, the girls stay here.
Ally: Because she's dumb?

I have a very smart kid.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

At the water park the other day, Anya had a wonderful time sliding down the white slides that 2 weeks ago, she swore she'd never be brave enough to try. And after 20 or so, she made me stop catching her at the bottom. She gets braver every day.

Knight's Action Park from Katie on Vimeo.

Clean

The CT Scan came back clean. Anya doesn't have a tumor. But she hasn't slopped falling over either. And now it's starting to really make her sad. She won't walk around without holding someone's hand and whines to be picked up all the time. She doesn't want to walk "becasue I'll fall down". Walking to the radiology department, she fell twice. That's when the volunteer that was guiding us asked if we needed a wheelchair.

There's something wrong with Anya. It may be her ears, or a virus, but there IS something wrong.

So we see a Neuorologist tomorrow*. I have no idea what to expect. I have no idea what he'll do or suggest. I'm just waiting to find out. The pediatrician is still suggesting Physical therapy for a gross motor delay. But can you call it a delay when it regressed? And today she came home from day care with a fever. Is it related? I hate this. She's already in bed sleeping for the night now. She screamed when Rob twirled her around a little, and grabbed hold of the rocking chair arms when I rocked her, like she was afraid of falling off. Is she actually getting dizzy now? Is it just her fever? Hopefully we can eventually get some answers to these questions, because we can't keep doing this.

*Tomorrow is also the day that the dog is scheduled to get her butt tumor removed. Shoudl be an interesting day.

Falling Down

I don't even know how to start this. Anya is broken. Or maybe not. Something is wrong that we can't figure out. I've mentioned before how she falls down. That was back in January. And then she quit. And then in April, it started again. It lasted about a week or two and then got better. The pediatrician checked her out and wasn't concerned, so we let it go. And she has grown so much this year, that we kinda chalked it up to her growing and having to get used to her body again.

But this time is different. This time, she is scaring the crap out of me. She's not just falling down more. She's not just falling down when she runs. She's not just falling down: she's barely standing up at times. Her legs don't seem to be supporting her right. She's been falling backwards, forwards, sideways and even into the toliet when she's sitting on it. The daycare made a list for me on Thursday morning. She fell 8 times in 30 minutes. Our day care is part of the college, so it has a giant observation room where you can look through 1-way glass. I sat and watched her for a while that afternoon. She's started trailing her hands along stuff as she passes them in case she falls. She fails the Romberg test consistantly.

We took her to the doctor again on Friday. He still thinks it's nothing, or possibly a gross motor delay. He recommends physical therapy. Which is all well and good if that's what it is. But it's not his 3 year old who keeps falling flat on her face when she is startled by it enough that she can't even catch herself. We suggested a CT scan, and he said ok.

I'm terrified. He wouldn't have agreed to a CT scan if he didn't think there was a possibility it could find something. What if there is something wrong with her? What if it started in January, and we did nothing and now it's worse? What if she ... oh god, anything? What if... ?

And then Friday night, she fell less. and Saturday, even less. Still more than a standard pre-schooler, but less and I began to think that maybe... Maybe it wasn't a big deal. Maybe I was overreacting. Maybe she is just uncoordinated. And it wasn't so hard. And my chest began to unclentch a little.

We took the kids to Knight's Action Park again on Sunday. Anya conquered her fear of the white slides last visit, and this time, she even told me not to catch her. She fell off the end and went under, so we sat on the edge, and watched how the other kids got their feet under them and stood up at the end, and she got it. The next time down, she didn't go under. And the next 20 times, I sat and watched her with only a high five at the end. After over an hour, she had to pee. She fell so much walking to the bathroom, that I held both of her hands so that I could catch her. And still she fell. So I carried her. We went to meet Ally and Rob at the Wave Pool and kids area over there, and she played for a little in the water. She got cold and hungry and tired and came out to sit with us. And fell. She was wobbling on our laps. She stood up to look at the waves and I had to hold onto her hips to keep her from falling over sideways. Her knees buckled. She was standing ok for a little bit, so I turned around to grab a towel, and in 2 seconds, she fell over again. I had to carry her to the car when we left. We walked into the house and she fell flat on her face while I was taking my shoes off.

She thinks she's ok. She feels ok. She doesn't limit herself because of it, but she hates having boo-boos all over her. Her ankles are all scratched up. She has a bruise under her left eye and more up and down her lower legs. Her knees are covered in skinned places.  But she gets up and plays every time she falls. She says she's not dizzy, but what does she know about dizzy? We can't know whether to believe her or not. We can't ask her what's wrong because she thinks that what's wrong is that she fell down. She doesn't understand cause and effect enough yet to help us figure this out.

A large part of this terrible immobilizing fear is confusion. She doesn't have any brain delays. She's learning to write letters. She draws. She climbs ladders and runs and rides a bike. She can pedal around the block (without stopping to blabber at us, which is more than I can say for someone else who will remain nameless) without getting tired. She can dribble a soccer ball down the field. She can throw a ball and even catch it sometimes. She loved dance class when we went last year and is looking forward to it this year. She did great in swim lessons. She can hop, jump, and gallop (which she calls skipping).

When she's not falling down.

I can't breathe.