That said, here's a real post...
We have to get rid of some puppies. Remember how easy it was last time? It's nowhere near that easy this time. We've had the puppies for almost a year now and Audrey for 2. We got them when they were little puppies and now they're grown (a lot!). They have personalities.
Stinky is a tasmanian devil. He runs around like crazy and is dumb as a post, but he's so lovable. He just about shakes himself apart everytime you go out to see them. He nearly trips over his own feet, he's so happy to see you. He rarely remembers to sit until you push his butt down, and can hardly stay there once you do. He's too excited. He plays with the other dogs and hides in holes in the ground only to leap out and surprise another dog. (Well not so much anymore) Dirty lays down for belly rubs, and Stinky remembers how much he likes them and steps all over her to get his belly rubbed too, but wants so much to lick you that he can't lay still. He follows Audrey around like she's his hero and wouldn't leave her side after she got back form surgery. He's a spaz but that's not all bad. And he's Anya's dog.
Dirty is a thinker and a climber. She climbs to the top of the kids' slide and when she wants down, she slides on her front legs and her butt. She knows when she or another dog is doing soemthing they shouldn't. That doesn't stop her, but she wanders around til she can find a stick or something to put in her mouth. "What me? I wasn't barking. I was just chewing on this stick here." She climbed to the top of our patio table to lay down on it (and eat the umbrella, but let's not talk about that). She's calmer than Stinky, and we didn't get her fixed, because I thought it'd be neat to maybe breed her and let the kids be a part of watching puppies being born and playing with them afterward until they get adopted out. Ally picked her out and hangs all over her and she doesn't mind.
Rob picked Audrey out. She is a sweet, sweet dog. She's the calmest of all, and we've had her for 2 years now. She's settled down, and isn't the rowdy puppy that Stinky is. She actually never was. She would love to be an indoor dog. She got sent outside when she was chewing things, but could have come back in long ago if we didn't have the puppies outside. She sits and lays down, and hates to get in trouble. It makes her sad. She always looks like she's smiling. She played fetch and loved it (before those stupid puppies started casing her ball. How dare they?) She's awesome with the kids, and doesn't accidentally knock them over near as much as the puppies. She loves peanut butter. She sees us inside and whines at the door wanting to be with us.
And 3 dogs are killing our backyard. The yard stinks, even when it's been cleaned up. The grass isn't coming up. They've created a path through the yard where I'm not sure grass will ever come back. We have to hang the swings over the top of the swingset, so they won't get bored and chew them up (again). We can't send the kids out to play in the sandbox, because 3 dogs is too many to fend off when they want attention. They can't run through the yard, because 3 dogs will chase them happily and accidentally knock them over and/or step on them. 3 dogs poop too much. Our backyard is not ours anymore. It's the dogs'. Why was a backyard a requirement for buying a house, if we can't use it? We can't keep up with 3 dogs. We can't train 1 puppy when they other one is jumping on you (actually, they don't jump on us. They did get that training). You say "Sit Dirty" and when you try to show her by pushing her butt down, Stinky licks you in the face. Then Audrey gets jealous and sticks her nose in your ear. 3 is just too hard.
They're all good dogs, though, and we let the kids pick them out. So we've talked about it with them and they both agree that Stinky is the least trained, so they're not so attached to him. He's not as easy to hug. And Audrey is such a good dog, but they like Dirty the best. It's hard for Rob, but I think we've going to keep Dirty and find a home for the other 2. It's so hard this time. I don't like it. But I want my yard back. One dog, we can handle. And as much as I like Audrey, without the puppies around, I know she'd beg to be let in constnatly. She wants to be around people. If we keep Dirty, maybe we can still do the puppy thing someday. Can you tell I'm justifying this to myself?
Know anyone who wants a good dog or two?